Appropriate Times to Use With Children - "Because I Said So"

Parenting is not an easy job. It seems like we have less time to spend with our children. Many homes have two working parents. There are many single parent homes. With all the changes and stress it seems like the statement "Because I said so" has turned into a parenting tool that parents are afraid to use it.

It is time to review the practice and see if it can be upgraded to meet today's new qualifications.

Professionals suggest it is a good idea to explain reasoning and logic to the child. They do not say that in need to be done in the heat of the moment.

Lets take a look at a few situations where "because I said so" may be the very best immediate response.

Angry moments happen in every relationship. During those moments when emotions are running high, it is probably not the time to try and reason and teach a child. The immediate anger needs to cool off and emotions need to settle, but still the behavior needs to change right now. This would be a good time to give a direct instruction and speak about the situation later. So give the direct instruction and if the why question arises the correct answer would be "because I said so".

Another time this may be the best option in a situation is when there is a threat of immediate danger involved. A parent may see a situation that is not evident to a child. Sometimes the child may need to move quickly and avoid some kind of confrontation. They should know that since the phrase is not used too often, the response should be quick and immediate.

Sometimes a child just don't want to give up. Lets take a look at a situation at the market. A child requested candy and the parent replied that the dentist said too much sugar was bad for her teeth, so they would not be able to have any candy today. The parent continued to remind the child they had already had some candy that week and marked it on the chart. The child just wouldn't give up and kept coming back with remarks. Finally the parent said in a very firm tone, "We are not going to talk about this any more because I am the parent, and I said so." Much to the relief of everyone in line the debate ended.

Any parenting tool that is over used, loses it's effect. So make sure the parenting bag is full of good tools and know which one to pull out and use. Really, think of it as a big tool box and see how many different tools can be effective. Don't be afraid to try them all and keep the parenting style working for each child and each adult.