April Fool's Day is Just that -- a Day for Fools

I think April Fool's Day is stupid. I've never understood why we have to have a special day set aside for a fool. Don't most of them have enough days already?

I think April Fool's Day is the worst idea anyone ever had. In fact, I detest it so much that I've always figured the small brain that devised it had no other thoughts floating around in that empty space of a head.

To me, there's nothing worse than a practical joke, and for the life of me, I have trouble understanding why anyone has to get their kicks by making someone else look silly or humiliated. Isn't it enough that we get that in life already? I don't think we need a special day for it.

And to paraphrase grouchy old Ebenezer Scrooge from "A Christmas Carol," my sentiment is let those bozos that think that April Fool's Day is fun be boiled in their own pudding or something. Wait a minute, I kind of like that idea.

To make matters worse, these clowns run around with all their foolish banter telling you something like, "Hey, the boss said we all have the day off today." Then when you grab your coat and head for the door, they laugh uncontrollably and shout in your face, "April Fool!" Like that justifies anything. My reaction is there's a fool in this room all right.

I think they're right up there with those goofballs that running around pinching you on St. Patrick's Day simply because you didn't have the foresight to slap that green shirt on your back. I ask you, how can pitching me all day celebrate St. Patrick? When I worked in an office, I would whirl around and glare at them. "Don't you know there's a sexual discrimination law against touching me without my permission?" That usually shuts them down pretty quickly. Obviously, I wasn't a real favorite around the water cooler.

So I'm warning everyone who doesn't already know, don't pull any of that stupid April Fool's Day stuff on me, or I might not take it very well. At this age, I'm often quick to react and slow to ask questions. But if you have thing for pepper spray, well, have at it.