Are You an Alpha Mom or a Beta Mom, and Does it Matter?

In our high-stress culture, more and more attention is paid to how we raise our children; specifically, how they are groomed for success in their careers. From Baby Einstein CDs to AP classes, parents feel increasing pressure to give their children the best chance in a highly competitive world.

Given the high expectations that many of us now place on children, the role of the mother in the family has undergone corresponding changes. In order to juggle hectic schedules that involve numerous extracurricular activities, community service, and other events, moms need to be more organized and more motivational than ever before-coaches as much as caregivers. So much so, in fact, that they have been dubbed by marketing groups as "Alpha Moms."

According to a recent article in USA Today, a new mantra, and a corresponding ready-made label, is on the rise-Beta Moms, or "slacker moms." These moms take things a little easier, and don't stress if they-or their children-don't get everything just right. As Rene Syler, author of Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting, puts it: "We get to the finish line. It's OK to chill out a little bit and let your kids be independent, and individuals, and revel in who they are."

But are things that simple? Don't most parents fall somewhere between "Alpha" and "Beta," between the two logical extremes? Certainly even the most hardcore Alpha mom has at times let their child play in the backyard in an unstructured way, and even the most laidback Beta mom has worried that she hasn't given her child as much direction as she should have.

Somewhere in this discussion is the odd desire to identify with something, even if that something is supposedly identifying with nothing. An anti-movement movement, after all, is still a movement. And the alignment of your own parenting style seems to often have as much to do with judging the actions of others as establishing your own beliefs. As one Beta Mom in the article put it, "I'm more laid-back than many other mothers I see. I see it as so controlling, and I see it in their anxiety. I guess they're trying to protect their children from everything that's out there. They won't let their child go next door or down the street."

Our contemporary media-here represented by USA Today-seems to be bent on supplying us with the ruminations of sociological experts who are interested in creating labels and schemas in order to understand general cultural conditions. While this may be interesting to read about, it certainly seems unnecessary to take their speculation and apply it as dogma in our own lives, particularly for a task as monumentally difficult as parenting.

So, instead of wasting time trying to figure out if you are an Alpha mom or a Beta mom, try to love your children as much as possible, do your best, and don't waste time judging the parenting of others. Enjoy your own family, and don't worry about which label to apply. You'll likely have a lot more fun, and a lot less stress.