Are Black Fathers Present?

Father's Day is approaching so let's honor fathers in a big way this year. As you are well aware, black men who father children get a bad rap. Sure there are men who don't step up to the plate, but there are countless men who do. While there are scores of men of other races who are absent from their children's lives, it is the black man who is defamed almost exclusively.

It was in the doctor's office just yesterday as I sat with my son who has a cold, that I engaged in conversation with a young black father there with his four month old daughter, there for her routine vaccinations. After chit-chatting for a minute he revealed that he had just moved back here from Georgia with his daughter while the mother finishes college. He had already graduated, and since neither of them have family in Georgia they agreed that he bring the baby back to California where grandparents are to assist with babysitting during the day while dad is at work. I complimented him for taking care of his daughter. He understood the importance of being there for his child and was well aware of the stigma.

Now, just so you know, I compliment as many mothers as I can too, young and older alike, but especially the younger ones. I tend to ask "how's dad?" Some will reply "okay", while others will say "he could do better". Either way they are encouraged to keep taking care of their child despite whatever help that they're lacking.

Yes, women have struggled with being solo parents, but men are stepping up now. Most people reading this article know of a good black father. He could be your own father, a brother, a son, a cousin, an uncle, a neighbor or co-worker. Spread the word about these good black fathers. They are the men who will usually always acknowledge how good black mothers have been to our race of children. These typically are not domineering men like those from other races of African descent who not only expect, but insist that the woman is to be the nurturer. These are men who don't run the streets, but who get down and dirty changing diapers, preparing meals, picking kids up from daycare, helping with homework, giving baths, taking pressure off of mommy. They're not looking for a pat on the back, they're just doing what they are supposed to do.

Next time, before you utter the words "black men are no good" add "except Nick or Bobby or Nathan or Larry or Quan - he's a good dad." Men do listen to other men, and though iron sharpens iron, it is the black woman who can touch that tender place in a man's heart like no other. Encourage these men so they can encourage another man.