1. You get upset that People.com doesn't update its news quickly enough. The only reason that you know that it doesn't update news too quickly is because you visit the website three to four times a day. Each time that you visit it, you hope that it will change, but it rarely ever does.
2. You consider yourself a diverse reader. You read a wide variety of celebrity gossip magazines. Actually, there are too many to count. You do not even remember how many you are currently subscribed to. This does not even include the increasingly large number of e-zines that you read on a regular basis.
3. Your current homepage is set to perezhilton.com. While you are a regular read of the Perez Hilton website, sometimes it just isn't enough for you. If you like a certain celebrity and there is only one picture posted on the website, you will do all that you can do to seek out other angles of the same star during this occasion.
4. You don't think that the idea of converting to Scientology sounds too far fetched. In fact, you rather like the idea. If you should ever bump into Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and baby Suri, there is a good chance that you will try to tell them that you practice the same faith - whether they want to hear it or not.
5. You know the name of the exact hairstyle that each celebrity currently has. What's scary is that you are not hairdresser and you did not attend cosmetology school. However, just like any loyal fan, you have done your research and that is all that matters. Now, you just need to figure out which celebrity hairstyle you will model this month...or week.
6. You get very frustrated when you see celebrity gossip shows on tv. This is particularly true when they criticize your favorite celebrities or they cannot get their facts straight. How could they possibly forget that Ciara was the one who wore that dress to that occasion and not Rihanna?
7. You have considered working as a member of the Paparazzi. Everyone tells you that it is so important to choose a career that you not only love, but that you are also good at. You are pretty sure that stalking your favorite celebrity down is just your cup of tea. Hey, why make it a job? You'd do it for free.
8. Your blog contains the name of at least one celebrity in each entry. How could you possibly blog about anything that doesn't relate, remotely, to a celebrity? There is really nothing else that interests you. Without celebrity gossip, your life is pretty darn boring. If you stopped writing about celebrities, some people might even think that you don't have a life.
9. You are like a walking encyclopedia. That is, you know Paris Hilton's middle name is Whitney, she is an Aquarius and she stands at 5'9". Your celebrity knowledge doesn't end here! All that anyone needs to do is name a celebrity if they want to hear you ramble off facts that others would consider useless but that you feel are very valuable.
10. You've thought about naming your dog after one of your favorite celebrity pooches. You just can't decide if you should name your dog after Paris Hilton's dogs Tinkerbell or Cinderella, Hilary Duff's Lola, Jessica Simpson's dog Daisy or Britney Spears' dog Lucky. Maybe you will draw out of a hat, so that you are not forced to pick just one of your favorite celebrity pooch names.
Published by Jody Morse - Featured Contributor in Health & Wellness
Jody Morse has a B.A. in English from East Stroudsburg University. As a sufferer of endometriosis, she enjoys writing about women's health issues. She has worked as an assistant wedding DJ, and is dabbling i... View profile
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20 Comments
Post a CommentI guess I don't fall under that category! :-) I am obsessed with the guy from Dirty Jobs. Mike Rowe is hot in my opinion, but that explains what type of shows I watch. ;-) I'm not much into celebs.
I'm not really all that interested in celebrities. When I do hear about them, I usually breathe a sigh of relief that I live a "normal" life out of the public eye.
Sophie
What a great article!!...you know it is sad when these Celebrities can do absolute crazy things and it just gets them front page media attention..then so many people buy this..mostly untrue junk...which in turn gets these celebrities only richer!..
No obsession here.
This was funny Jody! You should do more humor peices! Loved it!
What a neat article! We have become completely celebrity obsessed in this country.
This made me laugh. Guess I don't have to worry about being celeb-obsessed.
Great read!
Too funny!
fun read!!!!!