Are You Dating a Broken Man?

It is not uncommon into today's time to find a man who is more broken and hurt on the inside then a woman and added to the pressure is the rise of unemployment, divorce, and life situations. It is much harder to digest when the man is broken. He is supposed to be the strong one, the thoughtful one, and the one who holds it all together; but when he is found to be broken, he is seems worthless. I have interviewed several women who all share a similar story that I have put into a parody sequence to create the adventure of one woman's timeline of broken men:
Throughout 43 years of life and 30 years of dating, I have come across many broken men that gives me the advantage of knowing how to point them out with a brief conversation. It is funny that I would even be able to discern a broken man but not keep away from this broken man, "now how funny is that?" I started to date at 13 but my mom didn't know him until I was 14 and by that time it was unstoppable. I was junior high school, puppy-loving and that is all I knew. I wasn't sexually active yet so that was a great thing. From day one of my dating life I found myself to be drawn to men who were broken inwardly and unable to understand themselves and needing me to try and help them be a better man, which spoke a lot of volume of me.

I know for sure now that everything stems from my mother and father's relationship that others had a great deal of envy for. They didn't know the inside story of hurt and abuse being caused to my mother, staying with a man who was controlling, mentally and verbally abusive, among other things. All every other woman or man saw was that, my father was a provider and a man who took care of home. They never knew the behinds scenes of a lying, cheating, selfish man who needed to control everything in his environment to feel good about himself which never gave him any pleasure.

My very first boyfriend had characteristics of my father and I loved him. He was a provider, he gave me plenty of love and he was there for me, teaching me how to drive, helping me to get fat from eating fast food and a year later after dating; taking my virginity. I was in love with him only to find as that 4 year relationship grew that he was mentally abusive, controlling, cheating and manipulating all in one. He was a broken man and I gave him four years of my life as he and I had this on and off relationship.

After I decided to finally step up and leave, I found myself with a gun to my head from this same man, swearing he would kill me if I leave, as we sat in his father's van. His father was dying, his mother as the story had been told, had a single gunshot wound to the head in which they say was suicide while he was a child. My thinking, was it really suicide or did someone kill her and get away with it. I mean after all, here he was the cheater but had his father's gun to my head threatening to kill me If I left. How do I know that is not what his father did to his mother; I knew for sure he was a cheater; even in his dying days. God was with me every step of the way because I am not with him and I am still here.

To step into the present and modern day broken man, I fast forward through to my very first husband; who was known for being bad to the bone. He was all out thuggish and I liked it because I got to see that soft side of him that no one else knew. He was ruff and tuff with the worst of them but with me he was a soft as cotton until we married and moved to another state. It started with me finding that he was still keeping in contact with a teenage sweetheart back home and then he got a job, car, the women was loving him because he was handsome and he had money! Here I was married to a jiggy-lo with an abusive past; learning he was just like his father. The more I tried to show him what being married and life was all about, the more he showed me that he trusted the streets, cheated with other woman and had a problem with being physically, emotionally and verbally abusive.

After giving that marriage five years and taking a stand in the end against him physically abusing me, I went on to move to Georgia, "the A" to start a new life. Before I moved, I had met this man who I considered a friend and being that he knew all about Atlanta, Georgia, I figured he could show me the ropes and I would not have any survival problems. I can tell you now that I was so freaking wrong. This man almost got me evicted from my apartment, tried to take away all my possessions, and tried to mentally destroy me and take away my good woman character. It took me less than a year to say goodbye to this looser.

Then came along one of the gentlest men I ever seen in my life but can we say "Broken?" He had been in the music industry and many had turned their backs on him as they became well known rap artists of the "A." He was a good man but he was looking for someone he could manipulate into being what he wanted them to be. He wanted someone who would help him get his career off the ground and push him but he was not into committing. He was married to the streets and hustling because that is all he knew. This man actually wasn't that bad at all, he was just truly broken.

After letting go of him, I found myself remarried and O'boy! A man from a different country; could speak his language as well as Spanish and English, to my surprise was the most arrogant, narcissist, verbally and emotionally abusive man I had ever come across in my life time.

Therefore, as you can see, she ran across broken man after broken man and it started as early as age 13.

I encourage you to watch for these seven signs, because it may just be a signal of him being a broken man:

1. Controlling

2. Verbally abusive

3. Emotionally abusive

4. Narcissist

5. Angry

6. Quiet

7. Secretive