Are You Dating a Stalker?

Everyone thinks they would know a stalker immediately, but similar to violent mates, stalkers aren't always upfront with their tendencies. Look for these warning signs to determine if you are dating a stalker. Note: Stalkers are not always men, there are notorious female stalkers (pre teen Amy Fisher and Lisa Nowak the astronaut most notably), but for the sake of simplicity I have referred to the possible stalker as "he".

Constant Communication

If you receive texts, emails, tweets, phone calls, letters and constant notes on your Facebook wall of his undying love than he either needs to find a hobby or job or could potentially be stalking you. This is especially relevant if you've asked him to stop, leave you alone or go away.

He Just Happens to Be Everywhere

Is it possible that he could coincidentally show up at the coffee shop or just happen to end up in the cereal aisle of the grocery store at the same exact time as you? Yes it is possible, but if it seems to happen often and frequently (once or twice a week) then it's probably no accident. If he's also not buying coffee or cereal and the conversation steers toward, "so where are you going now?" then it's a sure bet that he's intentionally running into you. This sort of thing may be perceived as cute at first but will inevitably grow old and weird.

He Shows Up Uninvited

Stalkers aren't always hiding in the bushes outside people's houses like in the movies but they do show up uninvited to the house or workplace, usually for no real reason other than to see you. Sometimes they try to cover up the creepiness by showing up with flowers or some other random gift. Your boyfriend should not be at your job before you are.

He Has to Know Your Location at All Times

There's no logical reason to constantly ask people where they've been, who they were with and what they were doing unless you're a reporter or writing a book.

He has a History of Stalking or Craziness

If other people have mentioned that your date stalked someone else than there's a good chance he's still stalking the other person and will stalk you as well. Of course, not everything you hear is always true but even the stalker themselves will say things like, "she wouldn't answer her phone so I showed up at her house," or "she thought it was weird that I always showed up at the coffee shop at the same time she did.

Of course if you feel you are in danger you should notify the police. If any of these things occur after you've broken up or told the person to leave you alone, you may need a restraining order (or at least a weapon.)