Are Divorced Women More Attractive?

Sure, there's a big difference between being divorced and single. To know what I mean, just take a look at any divorced woman. She's got more. She knows all about the dating game. She knows how to please a man, she is probably an accomplished career woman and she has that sex appeal and allure that comes from having been in a long term sexual relationship.

She won't, for instance, mistake that bulging wallet in your trouser pocket for something else. Look at our own Vani Ganapathy, ex wife of actor Kamal Hassan. Look at Madonna or Drew Barrymore. They've all got more.

Time was when the world looked askance at divorcees. They had failed to keep their men. But not any more. Today the guys think that you must be something special because at least one man gave up his freedom for you. Getting married, it seems, boosts a woman's confidence and that lasts a lifetime, whether the marriage succeeds or fails.

Ironically, today it's the sworn singles who are looked at askance. What's wrong with them? Why haven't they been able to hook a man yet? I have a couple of single friends into their thirties who say that people do wonder about their single status.

Karen Mooney, founder of the Sara Eden Introduction Agency in England says: "After giving your name, age and height, our questionnaire asks for your marital status. Because if I had two women both 40, and one had never been married and the other was divorced, it would be much easier to make a match for the divorcee."

And this attitude is universal wherever common sense prevails, whether it's India or abroad.

"Divorced women have a more no-nonsense attitude," says Rita M, a 35-yeara old divorcee. "Men can't just walk over them. In fact men see divorcees as a challenge."

What's more, Archana, a single friend, tells me that she is treated like a little girl at home unlike her married siblings. Marriage is a rite of passage that bestows maturity upon a woman. Once married, she is finally considered grown up.

I think much of how a divorcee is viewed is due to how she views herself. If she is ashamed of her divorced status, she reflects that feeling and the world latches on to it. Says Anitra K: "I've been divorced twice and I never once felt that I was being looked upon as weird because I was divorced.

In fact, I began to attract hordes of men and younger men too. I think it was because of my carefree attitude. I didn't have that hungry look in the eye every time I went on a date - you know, marriage and commitment and all that. I was just out to have some fun and friendship."

So, to warp Tennyson up a bit, it is better to have married and divorced, than never to have married at all.