Are Emotional Affairs or Sexual Affairs More Damaging to a Relationship?

As we all know any kind of affair can be damaging to a couple's relationship, whether you're married, or just in a committed relationship. I thought we could explore how men and women look at affairs, as well as whether an emotional affair, or a sexual affair is more damaging to a relationship.

Although I hate to admit it, I have had about forty years in the dating world, as well as one long marriage, a short marriage, and two engagements. I as well have worked with couples as a counselor, and now a relationship coach. So what does that all mean? It just means I have a great deal of experience under my belt regarding relationships. The following article is based on my experiences in the last forty years, with knowing and observing men, women and couples. So, let's get started with this thing we call an emotional affair.

Emotional affairs are a relationship that is strictly based on having intimate and close feelings for another person, when you are already in a committed relationship. The biggy nowadays, is Internet affairs. Most of these never go past the Internet stage, although sometimes they do. Some people believe this is cheating, and others see it as a harmful fantasy that hurts no one. Well, it does hurt someone. It hurts the person who the cheater is committed to, therefore it is damaging to the relationship. One of the problems with emotional affairs is that most women (not all), see them as more threatening than a sexual affair. Women are about feelings and emotions. If the man they love is sharing them with someone else, it is devastating to her. Most men (not all), see it as harmless, and think women are just overly sensitive about something that they feel doesn't have anything to do with their relationship. This is the mentality most men have about pornography as well.

When it comes to sexual affairs most women of course, do not like their man having sex with someone else, however, you may hear a woman being more concerned about whether he loves her or not. In a weird way, women think the opposite of men. As long as her man still loves her, the relationship can be saved, and that's most of what she is concerned about. Now, when it comes to men, if he finds out his partner is having an emotional affair, he is concerned of course, but usually chalks It up to that he may just have to spend more time with, and give a little more attention to his partner, and the problem is solved. Well, now to how men feel about their partner, having a sexual affair. This is a different ballpark. Men seem to see their partner having sex with another man as not only a personal failure on their part, but that THEIR woman, the one deep inside they see as pure, and faithful, is having SEX with someone else. It's a betrayal that only a man can put into words. It's probably one of the most threatening things a woman can do to a man. Quite frankly, his ego just can't take it.

Have you ever noticed how when a man walks in on his wife cheating he beats the crap out of the man, not his partner? It's a territorial thing for sure. It says, she is mine, and you crossed the line. To be fair though, if a woman walks in on her man cheating, she usually lights into the other woman with very descriptive words. This however, has more to do with the fact that she doesn't want to face the fact that the love of her life is being unfaithful, it's easier for her to blame the other woman. Often times it's much more comfortable for her to believe the woman seduced her partner, not the other way around.

Isn't love fickle? No, matter which type of cheating that is done, emotional, sexual, or even both, it is very damaging to any relationship. My feeling is, if you don't like what you have, LEAVE, but don't cheat!

*Check out all my articles on cheating, the other woman, affairs, and lots more!