Are You an Evil Genius? A How To Career Guide

Are you misunderstood? Stuck in a dead-end job? Does the scientific community dismiss your brilliant theories as "ludicrous" or "hair-brained"? Have other scientists openly mocked your brilliance at symposiums or public lectures? You're not alone.

Last year, dozens of brilliant people just like you were denied the fame and fortune they so richly deserved because of the narrow-mindedness of a few individuals in power. But don't worry. There is a solution.

At the Evil Genius Institute (EGI), we've trained hundreds of successful evil geniuses with our exclusive online curriculum designed for the oppressed working professional. Being an evil genius has never been easier or more affordable. And best of all, you can train to be an evil genius right from the comfort of your own lab, with a schedule that you design and hours to fit your busy schedule. Sound too good to be true? Check out these testimonials:

Baron Karza, leader of R.U.L.E. writes -- "Before I started with EGI, I only had 2 or 3 henchmen. Now I have over 20. Thanks EGI!"

Dr. Notorious, the head S.L.A.Y. writes - "Without the tools and training I received at EGI, I'd still be stuck in my remote, undisclosed cave."

The Nemesis writes - "I was barely making ends meet working at Radio Shack. But now with my degree from EGI, I'm just a few steps away from global domination."

It's true. With the training you'll get at EGI, you're just a few easy classes away from world domination - and at a price that won't break your budget. The professionals at EGI have carefully designed a program to take all the guesswork out of being an evil genius. Just check out some of the fabulous tips you'll receive at EGI.

Picking the Right Acronym

Choosing the right acronym for your evil organization can spell the difference between failure or success. The professionals at EGI take the time to help you choose a personalized acronym that's guaranteed to intimidate millions.

Managing Your Henchmen

Even the best evil genius can't take over the world alone. It requires teamwork and skilled leadership (which of course you provide). At EGI we realize that as perfect as you are, an evil organization is only as good as its weakest link - and that means henchmen. Our program gives you the techniques necessary to manage and train your henchmen to be more than just mindless followers. We give you the skills you need to create a highly-effective team of henchmen - ready to do your bidding. From underlings and henchmen to sexy lieutenants, we give you everything you need to create the talent pool necessary to enslave the masses.

Location, Location, Location!

Tired of sorting through hundreds of real estate ads looking for that perfect remote cave or uncharted island? Well look no further. At EGI we not only teach you how to find that perfect location for your super-secret base, we also maintain a database of literally thousands of secret locations throughout the world exclusively for graduates of EGI. Choosing the right location for your compound has never been easier.

Doomsday Weapons

The design staff at EGI offers dozens of pre-designed doomsday weapons for you to choose from. All you have to do is assemble them, and you're ready to rule. But if you've already designed your own doomsday weapon, the staff at EGI is dedicated to making your dreams come true. We can provide all the technical know how and supplies, from titanium to plutonium, to help you bring your doomsday weapon from the design stage to a finished weapon you'll be proud to hold over the world.

Financial Support

At EGI we understand that your evil machinations require careful financial planning. Most evil organizations fail the first year due to inadequate funding or mismanaged capital. With our program we make sure you understand how to leverage your assets to ensure you'll have the money necessary to make your dreams of world domination a reality. Most of our evil genius graduates make a full time income while only working part time.

What Are You Waiting For?

Whether you want to be an evil genius part time or if you're considering being an evil genius as a full-time career, EGI offers a program that's right for you. So what are you waiting for? Ruling the world is just a phone call away. Pick up the phone and call 1-800-555-RULE. Operatives are standing by.