Are Your Friends Making You Depressed? How to Find Out

You've probably heard it said before that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. What that means is that we tend to take on the same habits, ways of thinking, and behaving as our closest friends and family.

If that's the case, and you are feeling depressed, then it makes sense to look at who the five closest people to you are. Could it be possible that your friends are making you depressed?

Are your friends making you depressed?

If you'd really like to know if your friends are making you depressed there are a few things you must consider.

*How do you feel when you're with these people?

When you spend time with your friends do you feel better afterwards or drained? Do you look forward to hanging out or do you try to avoid it? If you feel good when you are with your friends then they're probably not making you depressed. However, if you feel gloomy or drained when you are with them, it's quite possible that your friends are making you depressed.

*What do you and your friends usually talk about?

Do you and your friends talk about a lot of negative things when you're together? Do you criticize and talk badly about others? Do you focus on a lot of gloomy news? Do you talk about how bad things are in your own lives?

If you and your friends tend to steer the conversations into negative directions, it's likely that your friends are making you depressed.

*Do your friends reaffirm your pessimistic view of your life?

When you are depressed your life doesn't look so good. You tend to focus on what's going wrong, on your "bad luck," how others don't treat you fairly, and so on. If your friends reaffirm these views, they're adding to your depression, rather than helping you overcome it.

Although it feels good to have people take your side when you're feeling bad about something, your friends could be making you depressed if they do this consistently.

What can you do if your friends are making you depressed?

First of all, we can't actually blame our friends for our depression, but be can be aware of their effect on us. Ask yourself the questions listed above to find out if your friends are contributing to your depression. If you believe that they are here are some things you can do.

*Bring up more positive subjects.

Instead of continuing to talk about negative things and complain about what's going on in your life, try to talk about things that are more uplifting. It doesn't have to be fuzzy sunshine stuff, just a subject that doesn't get all of you focusing on the negative.

You could talk about an event that is coming up that you're looking forward to attending. Mention something interesting that you discovered or learned recently. Talk about a new book you read or a movie you saw. There are many interesting things to talk about that aren't negative.

*Steer negative comments in a positive direction.

If a comment has already been made that could potentially begin a cynical conversation and you feel uncomfortable disagreeing with the comment or asking to talk about something more positive, you can subtly steer the conversation in a positive direction.

For example if one of your friends says, "I can't stand my job" and everyone agrees and begins talking about how much they all hate their jobs you could agree and then say something like, "Yeah, but I'm so grateful I get to come home every day and forget about work."

By responding in that way, you won't be injecting your conversation with a phony sense of happiness, but will hopefully be able to change the focus of the conversation from hate (for your jobs) to gratitude (for the time you have to unwind).

Are your friends making you depressed? A final point

If you feel your friends are making you depressed and nothing you do seems to change the drained feeling you get from spending time with your friends, it may be better to reduce the amount of time you spend together, or try to spend more time with people who aren't so negative.

Friendships should be rewarding so ask yourself these questions to assess whether or not your friends are making you depressed and try some of the suggestions if you'd like to improve the quality of your friendships and have a more positive relationship with your friends.