Are You Gay?

So I have realized that there are a lot more gay people among the "straight" crowds that I am in. What I mean by this is that there are of people around me that say they are straight but are not. But how do I know they aren't? Well that's the hard part. You kind of can't really know for sure unless you have certain clues. So many people live secret lives because they are afraid to come out and show their true selves. But seriously, I don't blame them. Unless you are living somewhere predominately gay, it would be very hard to begin an openly gay lifestyle. I admire gay individuals because they have so much strength. You really have to know who you are to be able to make such a statement that could sometimes go against the majority.

I know that there are many who are very afraid, especially men, who have to stick to the persona of being a tough and strong heterosexual provider, the king of the jungle. If there are so many expectations of you, which occur automatically because of your gender, then it is rather hard to do anything but that. Still, many guys just keep it to themselves.

The one thing that bothers me is when I see guys (or even women), who eventually come out, that have criticized and made fun of gay men and women. It completely baffles me at times. But then, I sit and think about why they could possibly be saying the things they are saying; it comes from fear. If you go against something, then people won't expect you to be an advocate of the thing you oppose. Therefore, a gay individual who is afraid of anyone finding out could possibly put up a façade that would seem homophobic. So I suppose I could understand, although it does not excuse them for disrespecting and putting down a group a people.

Personally, I get a little skeptical when I encounter a young man who is so entirely afraid of gay men that he makes a huge deal about something that hasn't even happened. I always hear things like "I'm not a homophobe or anything but I just don't want a gay dude around me", or, "I personally don't have anything against gay men but I'm just not comfortable with them around me, I don't want them to come on to me". What is the point of saying this? Why do you do it? Is saying this out loud going to magically keep away these raging rapist gay men on the prowl? Honestly do you think that every gay man is some extreme heavyweight super strong rapist that is going to pin you down and sodomize you?

No, that is not the case. I have heard regular guys; whether they are from the hood or bar brawlers, openly state how they would easily take on a fight with a guy who decides to challenge them. So where is this bravery at when that same guy is afraid a gay man is going to "get them"?

So would you like to know the real reason behind why men are so afraid of being "got" by the gay man? Well my friends, it is not because they are actually afraid of being hunted down and raped (although this does happen) but mostly because deep down inside, this "wretched, awful, mind blowing, disgusting act" might actually change their lives forever. I'm not talking about the act of forceful rape. I am speaking more about the act of a curious encounter that may have gone just a little too far. What would happen if one actually enjoyed the act of being with another man or woman? It would be like opening up a new portal to something that one might not have control over. Are you afraid of being gay?

One of your biggest critics is yourself at times. People cannot face the truth so they try and force themselves to believe otherwise. Now I am not saying everyone is gay but there a lot more out there than one would think. Honestly speaking, anyone could be gay. There is no set physical characteristic of a gay person. Although we all can see what an openly gay man or woman would look like but there many others out there that look and live a straight lifestyle. Not every homosexual man or woman is flamboyantly gay. You won't see one hundred percent of the gay population at Pride parades and gay clubs. Actually, there are many who despise such gaud and glitz. Therefore, it is really tough to say who is who.

One great example I can use in this case would be from the movie American Beauty. I know this is a fictional story, but it does resemble real life. I'm not sure if you have seen this film but I would like to start by referring to one of the characters. Basically, there was a father who was hardcore ex-military who suspected his son might be gay. So he blew up at his son, because he had all of the expectations of having a well-behaved respectable disciplined son. Although they weren't, the father believed that his son was engaging in sexual activities with the man across the street (Kevin Spacey). Long story short, the uptight, traditional homophobic military father goes to confront the Kevin Spacey. But instead of approaching him angrily, he begins to kiss him while crying. Now I know this is just a movie, but we all know these things can happen. One can be perceived as one way, although they are nothing of the sort.

So I can conclude by wrapping up with my main point. I am not against gay/lesbian individuals, and I am not against straight people either. I just feel that one should not put down gay people in any way for any reason. Also, I feel that if you are secretly gay, just be secretly gay. There should be no pressure to come out if you are not ready. My issue is with the people who are undercover, but put down other gay people by being outward homosexual bashers.

I can think of an example from South Park, Mr. Garrison. He is the elementary school teacher who begins off as a perceived heterosexual man with an alter ego, his puppet Mr. Hat; who was actually a gay racist. He blames all of his gay desires on his puppet by saying it's really him saying all of these things. He is clearly against gay lifestyle. He even gets a sex change to become a woman that likes men, but still is against gay marriage! It is a clear case of a homophobic gay man in denial of his true self. I hope that people can just live their lives without putting down others to make them feel more at ease with themselves.