Are You a Good Listener?

A good listener has a significant edge during the process of communication to gain information, to learn and to understand and most of all to improve and enjoy better relationships. Listening is not just hearing. According to Earthling Communication website, listening is paying real attention, it is focusing to understand and then to respond appropriately. A good listener is an active listener.

The skills of an active listener include:

Giving undivided attention, avoid distractions and acknowledging the message.

Convey your attention through gestures and body language.

Provide feedback to the speaker through paraphrasing and asking questions.

Avoid interrupting the speaker and defer judgment to allow the speaker to finish.

Give an honest, candid and respectful response to the speaker; these skills are according to Mind Tool website.

There are many benefits of being a good listener. A good listener improves their listening and communication skills and becomes a better communicator, along with increasing learning, and being a more productive and valuable employee. A good listener increases their ability to influence, negotiate and to persuade others and learns how avoid or resolve conflicts and to relate well with others well.

Listening is challenging. It is hard work because of the attention, the focus and the energy and desire required to understand the message. Listening is a mental task. Practice the ability to concentrate by mentally repeating the words the speaker says, this will keep you focused on the message. Keep your mind from wondering by making an effort to make eye contact with the speaker and stay focused.

In a report posted on August 26, 2009 on X-ray Listening website, entitled: "The Listener's Expression Matters," the British Psychological Society confirms that the way a listener behaves makes a big difference to the quality of information they receive from the speaker.

In the experiment a group of students watched a short film, and then described it to a listener. Half of the listeners smiled, nodded and had open body language; others frowned and did not smile. Speakers reporting to a positive listener were more detailed and descriptive. Researcher Camiel Beukeboom states, that by a smile or a frown, a listener can influence how a speaker reports information, how it is remembered and passed on.

The art of listening is an ongoing learning process. The rewards of being a good active listener include increased self awareness and self esteem. Good listening improves relationships it breaks down barriers. Good listening skills make one a better person, a better parent and a better spouse and a better friend.