ARE YOU IMMOBILIZED by YOUR OWN 'BUT'?

I've never been a fan of complaining, and I've never been a fan of the popular concept called "Tough Love;" probably because I've had so little experience with the former, the latter was never necessary. These days, though, with more and more of the former, the latter does seem to be a bit inviting.

One good thing about my parents and all of the other people I knew of their age group, is that most of their generation did not have Buts-- they were simply not a realistic option; and many of their generation handed the same values down to their kids. If there are things that you need to do in life, do them-- sitting on your But and complaining does not cut it.

My current locale has many Buts-- more than I've ever seen before. I've noticed that most people put their Buts in either of two categories, and sometimes in both. Some blame their Buts on their "pasts," others blame their Buts on their "present-day circumstances." You will hear from these folks that they are not accountable for their actions, cannot be considered responsible for a negative lifestyle or their treatment of other people or their lack of doing anything constructive, tagging their excuses with "But- I was abused as a child! But- I am an alcoholic! But- I am disabled! But- !" any number of fill-in-the-blanks, all centering on the notion that one's individual Buts mean that he has a built-in excuses to get his own way.

There are Holocaust survivors and paraplegic war veterans who do not lean on their Buts the way many middle-aged Americans do. Many who have had real problems, traumas, and disasters in their lives have gotten off of their Buts and done something about whatever has held them back; but these days it seems that there are plenty of people who are more than willing to use any But that they may have as a buil-in excuse to either cause harm or to do nothing at all.

These are the people who are missing a very important point: while they are sitting on their Buts, complaining, they are losing precious time, and they are losing life. Life is what is going on around you while you are commiserating about your But-- and Life is what is passing you by. One day they will be old-- and, looking back, see very little that could accurately be categorized as "living;" all they will see are years and years of their own Buts. Unfortunately many are the same people who resent those who have not fallen into the But trap; if you are actually living your life, you may end up being pestered by those who will tell you that you should be examining your But instead.

The oldest generation went through plenty of difficulties and hardships. How did they do it? Determination, guts, and the common sense values that a person's life will end up nowhere if he takes the easy way out by relying on his But to carry him through.