Are You Inspiring or Nagging?

When two people get together, they inevitably want to change each other in some way, even if it's something small and simple. While you can't change who a person is, you can certainly inspire them to be the person you know they have the potential to be. If you nag them, you're really just reducing the chances of them ever even attempting to reach their potential. Before you shake your head and assume that you couldn't possibly be a nagger, check out some of the classic signs of nagging below. When you come to realize that you might be working against your own goals, use the ideas below to develop your own method of inspiration.

Exchange some words in your vocabulary. How many times a day do you tell a loved one that they "need" to do this or "should" do that. The unspoken meaning is that they are doing something wrong or not doing enough. Even if you're asked for advice, these are the kind of words that can make someone feel unworthy. Try using suggestive phrases instead of judgmental ones. Ask questions instead of giving directions. A simple "have you thought about…" instead of "you need to…" can change the entire tone of the conversation.

Give some encouragement. Let's assume that your loved one has chosen a career path that you have no interest in. You can still try to learn about it for his or her sake and you can easily inspire them to high levels of success by offering words of encouragement instead of condemning every move they make.

Wait for questions before you offer advice. You might think that you're the only one with the right answer, but that doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way. If you wait for someone to ask for advice then you won't get frustrated because they'll actually be listening to what you have to say instead of wondering when you're going to shut your mouth.

Don't dwell on flaws. You are never going to meet someone who doesn't have some kind of flaw that bothers you. Most people are aware of their own flaws and bad habits. They don't need to be reminded on a regular basis. You'll find more success by mentioning that something bothers you once, then letting the subject drop. For instance, if someone bites their nails, you mentioning it to them every day is just going to make them think about it more; hence they will do it more.

Look in the mirror. It's a guaranteed fact that you aren't perfect. There's an obvious chance that you do things that your loved one doesn't like. If you make an honest effort to make some change to your habits, they'll notice and will be more likely to do the same. You don't have to say a word. Your very actions will inspire them to want to please you, just as you have made an effort to please him or her.

Source: Personal experience

More from this contributor…

Manners in Modern Times

5 Things Every Single Mom wants to Say

Signs of a Stalker