Are Liberals Serious?

Principal Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
Ralph: I won, I won! [walks on stage]
Principal Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English.
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

What's funny about Ralph's line is that it's self-negating. He tries to say that he shouldn't be failing English, while at the same time proving that he should. This sort of line has been a staple of comedy writing for a long, long time. You may remember this song from the 1930 movie Animal Crackers, as Groucho Marx announces his arrival and departure at the same time:

Groucho:
Hello, I must be going
I cannot stay
I came to say
I must be going
I'm glad I came
But just the same
I must be going... Ta-Ta!

Margaret Dumont:
For my sake you must stay;
If you should go away,
You'll spoil this party I am throwing

Groucho:
I'll stay a week or two
I'll stay the summer through
But I am telling you
I must be going

This kind of thing, however, should only be attempted by professional comedians & comedy writers. In the wrong hands it can be dangerous, as John Kerry proved back in 2004:

Kerry: "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."

Sure, he got big laughs, but the problem was people were laughing at him, not with him. Not good, especially if you're trying to win votes.

Bill Clinton is much better at delivering the self-negating line. Back in the 90's, Clinton used to say things like "We've got to put a stop to the 'politics of personal destruction.' And that reminds me, Newt Gingrich wants to eat your children!" Funny stuff - or rather, it would be funny, if only so many people didn't somehow find a way to take it seriously.

When Barack Obama says, in effect, "I'm a peacenik. I hate war. And if you elect me president, the first thing I'm gonna do is invade Pakistan!" people should laugh him off the stage. Instead, he remains a leading contender to become the next leader of the free world.

A lot of the policy proposals being tossed around these days have the same feel. When someone complains, for example, that the economy isn't producing enough jobs, and then says we need to raise taxes and bury businesses in red tape... that's a self-negating statement. And when someone admits that illegal immigration is a big problem but then proposes to increase welfare benefits for the illegals... again, it's self-negating. You don't help businesses by attacking them and you don't discourage people from crossing the border by offering enticements to them any more than you would convince your principal that your English skills are good by using a word like "unpossible."

The bottom line is: if you want laughs, go to a comedy club, or watch The Simpsons or an old Marx Bros. flick. You might even get a chuckle from an Adam Sandler movie (anything's possible.) But humorless jokesters like Barack Obama & Co. aren't funny clowns - they're the scary kind.

Sources:
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F05.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCvz8y_DUSY
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/opinion/baroneweb/mb_040317.htm
http://www.kressworks.com/Politics/Clinton/Clinton_Democrats_perfect_politics_of_hate.htm
http://news.yahoo.com/s/po/20070802/co_po/obamaidinvadepakistan
http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1858767/posts
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YjY0MDU1YTAyYTU5OGE4NmIzOGZjZWUzMzJkNzMxYmM