Are You Listening? Men Living with a Woman - Part One

This is for all of you men out there who haven't a clue. Yes-you! Most men that I have talked to don't have any idea about what a woman wants from a man in a relationship. I know you have all heard the old cliches about women being a mystery to men. Women just expect men to be mind readers. How about the one that goes, "Why doesn't she just tell me what she wants?" I figured I'd try to help you out men. Now if you'll just pay attention.

First of all that is a real problem, guys. You don't listen. Men accuse women of nagging but I think that the problem lies with men just not listening. A woman will come out and tell you what she wants to be happy if you'll just listen. Women want to be happy, contrary to men's popular opinions. If you don't listen to a woman she will act out in a couple of interesting ways. She will cease talking at all. She might nag, depending on what you consider nagging. Probably the most popular reaction will be that most women will just get really, really upset. Get the blankets out guys because you will probably end up on the sofa tonight. Your wife has something to say. Pay attention.

A woman wants a man in her life for lots of reasons. She needs someone to open jars when they are on too tight. She needs someone to warm up her feet when they are cold at night and nothing beats tucking your cold toes between your guys already warm legs. A woman needs a man around sometimes just because she wants someone to go to dinner and a movie with and she is tired of hanging out with her girlfriends. Besides if a woman goes to a movie and dinner with her girlfriends she has to pay her share. There is nothing nicer than going to dinner and having a strong man on your arm to open up doors, to pull out your chair and most of all, to pay your tab. If a woman has dinner alone she is regarded with a bit of sympathy because it is thought that maybe she can't land a guy so that is just one more reason to want a male companion sometimes. Hey I just write, I don't make these things up.

Ok, we have already covered a few things that a woman wants from a man. Guys are you paying attention yet? A woman wants a man to make her feel special. Not just because they have been together for awhile and he still hangs around. Women are a pretty insecure species and we like to feel that our man likes us because, well because we might be pretty or sexy or just plain 'hot'. Not hot as in temperature either. Va-va voom-hot! Angelina Jolie-hot!!! We want to know that even though we might not have tight abs. or we may have a few stretch marks, we still appeal to our guy. We want a man to notice if we have cut and dyed our hair or made some effort to look special just for you. How many times have you come home and your woman will ask you if you notice anything new? You look around and see that the house is still standing and the kids are still alive so you really don't have a clue about what is new. She might make a couple of gestures toward her head or even spin around once or twice. Don't you see her hair? It was down to her shoulders and slightly streaked with gold or white, or even green for that matter and now it is sleek and red and behind her ears. She actually spent hours at the salon and some big bucks for this look just to impress you and you just don't notice. Look at her, please. This is the woman you have committed to spend time with. The woman who if she isn't too modern, still washes your socks and cleans the toilet after you use it. Even if you wash your own socks, tell her she is beautiful to you. Compliment her about the color and cut, that she tried so hard to impress you with. Tell her it looks nice even if she looks slightly strange to you. Hair cuts and colors are not permanent but how she feels might be.

Make her feel as though you still want to grab her and throw her down on the bed and make mad, passionate love to her. Smack her bottom and nuzzle her neck once in awhile. She may not have a lot of time for it, but it will make her feel as though she is still looking good and that you want her. It might embarrass her but she will love the feeling it gives her and you for giving her that feeling. Most women still love the touch of their special guy. Men you may have the sex-kitten that you have always longed for sitting right there at your dinner table if you just show her some affection. A woman wants a man that appreciates the fact that she has feelings too. If you do make advances and she claims that she is tired, listen to her. She just might be tired. Women do not and I repeat do not just sit around all day eating chocolate and watching 'soaps'. Your house does not clean itself. It takes a lot of work to keep the kids clean and dressed, the house clean enough that your Mother can drop in and your dinner on the table. If she works at an outside job too, that is another drain on her energy. Guys it's a hard job and we do appreciate some help once in awhile.

Do you really want to know what a woman finds in a man that is a real turn on? Women love a man who cares enough about her that he is willing to roll up his sleeves and do the dishes and let her get off her feet for a bit. She cooked so it won't hurt you to wash the dishes. Most women that I know would wonder what a man was up to if she walked into their bedroom and the bed was actually made without her doing it. I know when it occasionally happens to me, I am always surprised. How about some help with the kids? Offer to watch them while she goes out shopping with a friend or to maybe just have a cup of Starbucks alone. She will come back, I promise and she will probably be much happier when she does. Most men don't want to change diapers. Well guess what? Neither do we. Changing diapers just comes with the territory. You change one time and she changes the next. She will love you for it and so will your child. There is nothing sexier to a woman than the sight of her big, strong man holding their little one in his arms. It really is a beatiful thing to a woman to behold.

Let's talk a minute about gifts and special occassions. Birthdays, Christmas presents and even Valentine's Day. It's not that we are so materialistic about things. We just want to feel that we are still special to you. A woman doesn't always want expensive things. A woman wants to be thought of and remembered. You don't have to buy her a dozen red roses to keep her happy. Roses are beautiful but they are hard to take care of and expensive and they die fast. Pick her some flowers. Just surprise her and show up with them in your hand. She will love them. If you do it once in awhile she might actually not think that you are acting guilty about something either. Do you have to spend mega-bucks on dinner for her? I think it's fun sometimes just to go to the local fast food joint as long as she doesn't have to ask you to take her. Go ahead and call her from work a little early and tell her not to bother with dinner tonight. Tell her that you want to just make her life a bit easier and when you get home she can pick a local place to go. She will love it, especially if it has been a tough week.

Cards are not a necessity either. A hand-written note from you just letting her know that you love her and are thinking of her will suffice. If you want to buy her a present or Christmas or her birthday is around the corner do not and I repeat do not stop at the corner drug-store and purchase for her whatever you can find. She will know where it came from, how much it costs and she will also know you didn't care enough about her to plan ahead. Oh here is another little hint, do not buy her an appliance or other domestic object unless she specifically asks for it. She will hate the gift and won't like you much either. After all would you buy Paris Hilton a toaster? If you do choose to buy her underwear from a special store, like "Victoria's Secret" remember that she is not a size zero and she will not wear that crotch-less teddy in front of anyone not even you. Something pretty and comfortable will make you both happier. She won't get her feelings hurt and you won't spend the night wondering what you did wrong this time.

Men, remember if you want to know what a woman wants, just ask her and when she tells you, listen.