Are You Living in the Past or Having Trouble Letting Go?

Have you ever stopped and looked around you at your home, your room, or where ever it is that you are presently living, and had the sudden realization that you are living in the past? That is exactly what happened to me recently.

I have been mourning the loss of my mother for almost three years now. For the longest time I felt that I wasn't making much improvement, or
moving on in the grieving process. Then I suddenly realized that I had all of her pictures on my walls. All of her little nic-nacs from our old home were displayed on my shelves. In fact almost everything that I still had of hers was put out somewhere for me to see it everyday. I was turning every new place that I moved in to, into my mother's house. I was creating that place around me over and over again. Once I realized this, I asked myself, "How is it that I can expect to move on, and make any progress, if I continue to place my past all around me?" After making this discovery, I went about my day, and week just the same. Then one day I was making a list of all of the things that I could do to improve my life. One of the things that I put on that list was, "take down all of the decorations from my mothers house, and either put them away somewhere safe, or give some of it away to family." This I did. I felt guilt, and sadness as I did this, but it was soon followed by an enormous sense of relief and freedom. I did not stop at my mother's decorations though. I began to go through all of my drawers, boxes, and shelves full of things that I had been packing around with me for the last 5 years or more. I took a lot of the stuff that I had been needlessly holding on to, to the Goodwill. Other things that could not be re-used, that I had no need for, I threw away.

As I went through my things, I found about ten notebooks that I was keeping. I had been writing in those notebooks for the last four years. As I looked through the pages I noticed that just about everything that I had written in them were negative things. Things I did not like, that I didn't want to be a part of my life. I talked about how much I hated my life, and everything about it. I had been holding on to those notebooks thinking that someday when I am older, I would want to read them, to remember what my youth was like. As I looked through them, I saw nothing but misery, and I knew this was not how I wanted to remember myself, or my life. So I threw them away.

After I was done clearing my room of all these things, I went out, and got some new things to decorate my room with. It is amazing the difference that this has made for me. Having surroundings that do not echo my past. I never really realized just how important our environment can be. The effects of our surroundings are immense. They can either make us feel good, motivating us and making us feel energized, or they can make us feel bad, draining us, and causing us to feel trapped in our present circumstances.

Another very important thing to think about is that, having a cluttered home creates so many unneeded problems. When our home is cluttered, and messy it makes us feel out of control, overwhelmed, and defeated. It is valuable to remember that the things we choose to surround ourselves with are a reflection of what we are feeling like inside. If you are indeed surrounded by clutter, and disorder, it is almost certain that you are feeling disorderly, and out of control. It is true that most of this is an inside job. Obviously your outward circumstances can not completely change emotional problems that you are experiencing within but, getting rid of that old baggage, and all of that unnecessary stuff, can and will help you to feel more in control, clear minded, and will assist you in getting your life in order.

If you are experiencing the same problem that I was. Losing a loved one, and carrying their stuff around with you. Know that, that person would not want you to feel unhappy because of their old things. Consider the fact that, it may be time to let go. Whatever your situation, you owe it to yourself to feel better, and this is a great, and very effective way to begin. So make yourself a list of all of those things that you really, honestly do not need (and that is basically anything that you look at, and say "well, I might use this later" and then stuff it back into a box) and then get them out of your home. The freedom you will feel after doing this speaks for itself.