Are You in Love with an Angry Man?

1. For most men anger is a mask for hurt and pain. Help them to recognize these feelings in a non-judgmental way. Believe it or not, men need reassurance and the need to feel secure just as much as women do.

2. Imagine looking at the situation as if you were an onlooker. This will help you realize, you do not have control in forcing him to change. When he is ready to deal with his unresolved issues, and buried pain, he will know.

3. Take a look at yourself and how you deal with his explosive behavior. In what way do you handle the situation? Do you get on the same level? Does he make you feel inferior? Do you take the blame? Sometimes, these actions actually make the situation worse. You need to reevaluate your role in the drama.

4. After an extreme argument, you may beat yourself up and do something in haste. Remember to put yourself first. He does not define you. You have friends and family that care very deeply for you, and it's important to let them in and keep them aware of what's going on.

5. Do not let an argument cloud your opinion of yourself. Understand that he explodes because somewhere inside of him, he feels his needs are not being met. His way of dealing with his inferiority is by putting you down. Words can be devastating, but try your best to keep them in context. More often than not, it's his own low self-esteem and frustration that's setting him off.

6. Find an appropriate time to sit down with him, or better yet take a long drive with him, and allow this one on one time to let him understand that you realize that he's feeling a lot of pain. Try to allow him to feel comfortable in the fact that you are there for him and whenever he wants to talk, you are open to receive. Men need to feel that you understand. It may seem like they're trying to push you away, but in reality they need you more than ever.

7. Men and women communicate differently. Be aware of this. Women prefer the in-depth communicating style of looking into her partners eyes and speaking in a manner filled with detail. Men, on the other hand, have a difficult time looking into his partners eyes,. To them it feels too intense, and maybe like their being interrogated. Men are more action-oriented, their minds go immediately to how the problem should be solved in a cut and dry approach. This obviously is not in the relationships best interest. Women need to vent, need to review past issues and sometimes this leads to an unsatisfying conclusion. Instead of dwelling on past events, try to share ideas on how both of you can come up with solutions to different scenarios. In order to begin to work things out, a compromise of both styles have to be met.

8. An angry man will bury his feelings and try his best not to show his true emotions. If your angry man is yelling about the messy house or lack of beer, most times it's a whole other issue that's the underlying factor to his out of control temper. When he calms down, remind him that you're both on the same team, and that anything that's going on, no matter how stressful, the two of you can and will get through it together. Words a man needs to hear to feel truly supported .

9. Sometimes, an angry man has built up such a wall around him, that seeking counseling might be the best alternative. Also, the support of family and friends is paramount when trying to cope during these difficult times.

10. Although times may get very difficult and you begin to feel that you're only alternative is to just break-up, remember that there are many couples that successfully deal with the destructive behavior of anger. When both partners come to the realization that they love each other very much and that anger is an obstacle that can definitely be overcome, a deeper intimacy can emerge that will be lasting and fulfilling.