Are You the Mutual Friend of Two Frenemies? (Some Rules to Follow)

At some point in time you may find yourself in the unfortunate position of being the mutual friend of two sworn frenemies. Depending upon how tight your social circle is, you may either have an easy time of it or the situation could become Friendship Hell. Either friend may assume that your loyalties will be divided. There is also the chance that you may become the target of mistrust. Some hard and fast rules apply if you happen to be in the middle of a sticky BFF situation.

Don't share information about each friend (to the other).

The best thing that you can do if you happen to be the friend of people who can't stand each other -- is to keep out of their personal affairs. Don't swap stories or share intimate tidbits about either party. Gossip with one friend, and the other will automatically assume that you're doing the same with her. This is a sure fire way to cause unpleasant sparks in your friendship.

Plan social gatherings wisely.

There is no rule stating that you should not invite both friends to a party or some other social gathering. But you should take note of the context in which you invite them. If it is a large affair, then they should be able to stay away from each other relatively easily. But intimate soirees need extra consideration. Do you really want your other guests to feel uncomfortable while watching your two buddies stare each other down over hors d'oeuvres?

Don't take sides.

If your two friends have gotten into a tiff over a serious issue, it will serve you well to stay out of the situation - even if you feel strongly about one position over the other. Unless you are directly affected by whatever is causing your friends' strife, remain the impartial judge.

Find friends outside your immediate social circle.

You shouldn't feel the need to abandon the friends that you've made even if they are having problems. But it would also help if you explore friendships outside your immediate social circle. You will feel less pressure to spend time with either one or the other. In addition, you get a chance to broaden your horizons and enjoy the personalities of new people you meet.

Don't stop being you.

As the mutual buddy to two frenemies, you should know that they probably are censoring the things that they tell you. But don't feel too badly. This is actually a good thing. They know that anything they don't want repeated to the other party should never come out of their mouths. This doesn't mean that you have to stop being you. Fight the urge to tailor your personality to suit either friend. That each of your feuding buddies finds qualities in you worthy of friendship speaks volumes.

SOURCES:

www.psychologytoday.com

www.ivillage.com

www.shine.yahoo.com

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