Are Office Romances Worth It?

I work long hours, just like everybody else at my company. This doesn't leave much time for romance, unfortunately. At least not with "outsiders." Our company policy does not forbid co-workers from dating, but I've heard it should be avoided at all costs. Is this true? Or is it really alright to date co-workers?

ANSWER: As Jodie Foster's Clarice Starling pointed out in The Silence of the Lambs, "we covet what we see."

In fact, in a study cited by CignaBehavioral.com, 85 percent of the workers surveyed were aware of an office romance. And, while the taboo on office dating is fading, it's important to take a look at some reasons many companies still have rules against it. Author Ethan A. Winning has a good explanation which includes these potential pit falls:

* favoritism

* perceptions of favoritism (and the ensuing rumor mill)

* conflicts of interest

* confidentiality (as in nondisclosure agreements)

* hostile work environment

* sexual harassment

But companies realize co-workers will date, despite official policies and/or unofficially frowning upon inter-office romance. If you decide to take a chance and start dating someone the next cube or office over, here are a few things to consider:

Look before you leap. Even if your hook-up ends, it probably won't be like this one. Still, it's a good idea to go in hoping for the best but expecting the worst. If the romance sours, will you be prepared for the fall out? It can get pretty awkward - or even downright nasty - to work even remotely near an ex. Make sure you go into it with your eyes open.

Play it cool. One couple at a large company kept their couplehood so secret, nobody knew they were dating. Even when they took roughly concurrent week vacations (she took off two days before him), nobody knew. Until they returned married, that is. Not everybody can pull this off. Still, there are techniques that can help keep it low key. Even when your relationship is well-established, it's usually best to rarely mention to other co-workers who you're dating.

Is it worth it? Are you willing to risk your job for love? After all, a hot affair could put your career on ice - at least within your current company. If your romance blossoms but your reputation suffers, are you prepared to look for work in another company?

IN A NUTSHELL: Before starting an office romance, realize potential employer concerns, understand it could affect your career, and above all, keep it as low-key as possible.

Do you have a work search or on-the-job related question? Contact me here and it may be answered in an upcoming article.