Are You Often Offended by Other People? If So, Your Behavior Could Be the Real Problem

Does it seem to you that people are always getting offended at the smallest thing and then it creates a bigger problem in the end.

First it started with political correctness so that how we address people won't be construed as offensive. But now it seems that everyone has a problem with something and intends to make it a problem to others to cater to their sensitivities. Now most of society is bending over backwards or tightening up rules so much that it seems that we should live back in the black and white world of Leave it to Beaver. Many of these rules and laws would have normally been considered common sense, years ago, but now it seems that common sense has gone out the window like Emily Post's etiquette.

However instead of turning a T.V. channel or telling your kids to look at that person and use them as an example of unacceptable behavior, people have even started confronting others and expecting them to bow down to their sensitivity. Have we gone beyond the age of reason?

First let me preface by saying that we should still live by the golden rule of behavior. Try to behave respectfully to others just as you want them to be to you. However understand that the world is not a perfect place and others will not always behave as you want them and as irritating as that may be it is still our personal freedom.

There are things to keep in mind if you have begun to be offended too easily

• Avoid Jumping to conclusions. Instead of immediately taking offense to something that was said, try to realize that the person may not have intended what they said to insult you. They may have had a bad day or just not thinking clearly before they spoke. If you have ever misspoken yourself you may want to have a little forgiveness or at least overlook small missteps that someone else makes.

• If someone's behavior upsets you. There are two ways to address this. If you are not familiar with this person it is best to avoid the behavior, walk away and don't give them the power to ruin your day. Sometimes there are just unhappy people and they may be lashing out to pick a fight. As an intelligent adult does with a misbehaving child, sometimes it is best not to give that behavior your attention. Sometimes if that person doesn't get results they later go home and feel embarrassed for having acted that way However, if you know them, it may be better to just ask them directly what is wrong or if they intended to offend you. Sometimes you will find that it was unintended.

• If something such as music, TV or someone's clothing offends you. Ask yourself if it is hurting you directly. Just because you think something is vulgar or unacceptable doesn't mean that you have the right to approve of everything in society, just as someone else who doesn't agree with your choices in things doesn't have the right to infringe on you. Dress codes are for schools and formal places of respect, not all public places. People come from all different backgrounds and cultures and it may be acceptable in a neighborhood just a few blocks away. The civilized thing to do is to ignore it and don't focus on it.

• Ask yourself if you may be a little overly sensitive about the offense. It may be you that is the problem in many situations. If that is the case then your behavior may be irritating others as much as their behavior bothers you. If so then you have something to work on.

By Focusing on behaviors, language or other things that you deem offensive you give them power to ruin your day and make you angry, you may even let it get so out of hand that you ruin someone else's day just because you couldn't overcome your sensitivity. Why give someone else that power over you.

Realize that no one person dictates how people must talk, dress or behave. Why do you feel that you get to set the standards? There are laws for behavior that is too out of hand and if something gets that bad it is best to let the police deal with it instead of getting into a confrontation yourself. Many people feel that ignoring the behavior and walking away a sign of their weakness as a result they feel that they should confront the infraction directly so they look like they have the upper hand. This is not always correct. It takes an intelligent and a refined person to rise above the behavior and keep their integrity intact while walking away.When you learn to live and let live and realize that other people's dress, language or behavior is not your personal problem you can resign yourself to ignore those people and not to let them ruin your day.