Are Our Children Getting Their Sex Education from Television?

The average child watches about 24 hours of television a week. All together, this is more time than he or she will spend in a classroom over the course of the year. In addition to the programming, this entails being exposed to some 20,000 commercials each year. What's seldom pointed out, however, is that television programs are themselves commercials in a sense: they advertise certain lifestyles, and provide models for how men, women, and children are supposed to behave in our society.

Jesse Jackson once remarked that TV has become like a "third parent" in America. Children learn what it (supposedly) means to be a man or woman, and how the two are supposed to relate to each other, through watching it. Now, most parents are aware of how violent and sexist certain programs can be, how they openly flaunt disregard for what many of us would consider decent morality, and they strive to shield their kids from these kinds of shows. Sometimes the subversive nature of particular programs can be subtler, however - particularly in the realm of sexuality.

Some studies have concluded that sexual behaviors, in one form or another, are portrayed in the average TV show as many as eight times in any given hour. Even if these depictions are "clean" by adult standards, they are probably more than young children are equipped to understand or handle. What's more, the situations shown rarely touch upon the realities of adult sexuality. We witness attraction, passionate displays, and open sex talk, but little mention (if any) is made of condoms or other forms of contraception, pregnancy, abortion, or sexually transmitted diseases. A child watching these kinds of shows, therefore, is learning a lot about sex but next to nothing about sexual responsibility.

It's obvious that television makes a strong impression upon children. Many of them adopt the speech and mannerisms, and/or want to model their style of dress and their hairstyles, on characters they see in various shows. Even the behavior that is advertised during so-called family programming may not jive with your personal sensibilities regarding how you want your child to think and behave. It's crucial that each of us, as parents, use our own judgment. We should view these shows ourselves, and not rely upon the ratings. Ideally, we should make up a list of approved programs and then impose some time limits. Neither of these approaches are possible, of course, if a child has a TV in his or her own room. This is true of a large number of children, and essentially amounts to the adults relinquishing responsibility to the "third parent".

Of course, we can't be psychic and foresee every situation that may arise while we're watching TV with kids (unless it's a rerun). But if something of a sexual nature is portrayed, we can take the opportunity to open up a discussion. What do our children feel about what they saw? Do they think that's how real men and women behave? We can use the moment to express our own opinions about what is healthy. Then we are being the parents, and the TV is relegated to its proper role - as mere entertainment.