Are Your Parents Ruining Your Life?

They've read you bedtime stories, helped with your homework, and taught you right from wrong. But these days, your parents are also calling up your teachers to dispute your grades and tracking your every computer keystroke. It is though parents today are having a hard time cutting the cord to give their kids independence. Experts say today's parents are involved in their kids' lives more intensely and longer than parents of previous generations ever were. "Many of today's parents don't allow kids to take on appropriate levels of responsibility and ownership of their lives" says Mark Crawford, Ph. D , a family psychologist in Roswell, Georgia.

Somebody's watching.

Modern technology has made it especially easy for parents to keep tabs on you in ways that previously impossible. And because you're the first generation who grew up with internet-and internet predators- parents are right to want to be watchful. But have they gone too far? Helicopter parents don't think twice about friending your Face book friends or checking your computer browsing history. They feel a need to track you, whether it's with popular software that lets them access your grades, computer spyware that let them see which websites you visited, or GPS devices for your cell phone and car that let them monitor where your driving.

A new kid of parent

Sure, there have always been overinvolved parents. But what was once few and far between is now becoming the norm. Experts pinpoint the 1980's as the beginning of helicopter parenting, when women from the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation and beginning of generation X began marrying and having kids later in life, after they had careers. Many parents-especially moms-began to view parenting as the job of creating the perfect child. A parent relations consult to higher education institutions. That outlook seemed to cultivate this crop of helicopter parents, whose kids became a crucial part of their own identity. When the child fails, the mother feels as though she failed. This breeds a culture of extreme competitiveness among other parents that is unhealthy for parents and kids.

Too close for comfort?

Since many of you have been raised with this constant attention from your parents, its understandable that you're used to it and even welcome it.

72% of you consult your parents before making a big decision.

73% of you communicate with your parent VIA text message, IM, email, or phone call at least once a day.

If you've hovered over your whole life, it becomes difficult to forge out your own.

The consequences

They may think they're helping you, but experts believe that helicopter parents can have crippling effects on your future success. A 2006 survey conducted by Experience Inc., a Boston-based career services website, found that 58 percent of college students moved home after graduating and 32 percent remain their more than a year. Both Crawford and Johnson believe there's a direct connection between these "Boomerang kids"- young adults who move back home after college- and helicopter parents.

Helping yourself.

The truth is, even if your parents insist on knowing your Facebook password or checking your grades, you can find that middle ground of staying connected without being overly dependent. The first step is to assert your independence and ask how to do things for yourself. Let your parents know you need to start learning how to things for yourself.