Are People Draining You of Your Energy?

Everyone has someone in their lives who just seems to drain the energy right out of them. Sometimes it can be a spouse, a child, a parent or even a friend or neighbor.

It's the person who is constantly asking for favors without ever reciprocating. It's the person who talks your ear off about their lives or misfortunes, but never seem to give any thought to your life or troubles. It's the person who thinks nothing of your busy schedule, yet expects you to add them or their request to your list of things to do. It can even be the child who is forever having tantrums or who has to be at your side through ever minute of the day without a moment's peace. Or, how often has your spouse talked incessantly about their day, activities or interests and never thought to ask or give any consideration to how your day went or where your interests lie?

It can be very draining on our energy and our emotions. If our own needs aren't being reciprocated or tended to as well, or if our importance isn't acknowledged, we can feel much like a bank account that has had excessive withdrawals and very few deposits. Those ever increasing withdrawals can leave you feeling as though there is just nothing left. We can become more prone to illness or emotional shut down. It is better to learn how to deal with these sorts of people before their actions and demands become a prominent factor in your life.

What good are you to yourself, or anyone else, if you become so drained, there is just nothing left to give? We do all need to give ... give of our talents, give of our time, give of ourselves. Giving allows us a sense of accomplishment and belonging, but when it becomes too one sided, the imbalance can make us feel very unreplenished and unfulfilled and possibly, even a little resentful.

HOW TO DEAL WITH ENERGY DRAINERS

Distance Yourself

Sometimes we just have to distance ourselves from these types of people. As rude as it might sound, it might be better for you to just not answer the phone if you know/think that it's them, or allow yourself a few days without a visit. You have to give yourself time and space so that you can regenerate, knowing that it's inevitable the favor-asking will start up again, soon enough. Just as people are allowed vacations from their jobs, we sometimes need vacations away from family and/or friends, even if it's just by keeping our distance from them for a short time.

Delegate Chores

In the case of family, you have to learn how to delegate tasks so that you do have the time to tend to your own needs from time to time. A family unit is a unit that is there for the betterment of all in that unit. It can't just be one person doing all the giving, with everyone else doing all the taking. If that one person were to break down, then the unit is no longer strong. This is why it's very important for all of us to look after ourselves, even if sometimes it might feel as though we are being somewhat selfish. A little break might be in order from time to time. Something as simple as taking an extra long soak in the tub, or demanding a few hours to be alone to go for a walk or going out with friends, helps immensely. Let someone else take the helm for a short amount of time to give you a breather. The ship won't sink without you there.

Be More Assertive

Learning to be more assertive also is a way to deal with those draining family members and friends. One doesn't have to wait until they're so stressed and overwhelmed that they either explode in anger or implode with frustration. If kept in check, just a "matter of fact" reminder that you are only human and can only do so much, can go a long way in helping them to understand that you have been pushed to your limits.

If we don't come right out and tell others of our needs, how are they to be aware of our feelings? It's not always that easy for them to pick up on it, especially if they are geared to being more focused on themselves. And just as they seem to have carte blanche in the department of self-absorption, maybe we also have that same right to think of ourselves just a little bit more.

Replenish Yourself

Lastly, and definitely not the least of importance, we all need to find someone that we can trust in, someone that we can share and entrust all our thoughts and feelings to, without judgment or prejudice. We all need a close friend or companion who will listen to our problems, thoughts, ideas and concerns. When we are able to unravel our burdens to another, without fear of reprisals or judgment, we lighten our load tremendously. We are then able to forge forward, knowing that we are not going it alone. That's what helps to replenish that bank account, and at least keep the deposits as close to the withdrawals as possible. It's all about putting balance into our lives.