Are You a Perfectionist?

Must everything you do be perfect? Do you set unattainable goals and the slightest imperfection is seen as a total failure? Perhaps you're a perfectionist.

According to Dr. Gail Saltz, a perfectionist can have a healthy tendency to always improve performance if equipped with an ability to complete the task. However, the unhealthy aspects of perfectionism tend toward the belief that you'll only be valued if you're perfect. The latter of which will often motivate a perfectionist to set high standards and unrealistic goals that can't be met, resulting in discouragement, low self-esteem and needless anxiety.

There is a line between naturally excelling to achieve quality, excellence and positive results, aside from the reality of being trapped into ideas of creativity that will never bring satisfying results.

Characteristics of an Unhealthy Perfectionist

Here are some of the characteristics associated with unhealthy perfectionism:

- the value of the person depends on his/her endeavors and successes;
- the individual will conclude that everything is wrong when everything is not perfect;
- having a strong tendency towards self-criticism;
- setting and having impossible goals;
- excessive search for perfection in everything;
- operates on a "either all or nothing" theme;
- the sense of "duty" to always do more;
- the notion of pleasure is absent;
- accumulates time expenditure in trying too hard to do well;
- constantly doubts his/her own performance.

How do You Become a Perfectionist?

Research such as Mendelian Genetics, NPA model has shown that personality traits, including perfectionism, are hereditary. This does not mean that if the parents were perfectionists that the child would be predisposed to such traits as well. But studies have shown that some people are more susceptible than others to perfectionism.

Many people wonder how to view perfectionism in terms of its origin. Viewing it as either learned or genetic could significantly affect how it would be addressed in treatment. In other words, if it were viewed as a learned behavior, the ultimate goal would be to unlearn it. However, if perfectionism were considered to be hereditary, the task would lie in facing and carving the trait to achieve a healthier reality.

Learning plays a major role in the development of a perfectionist's personality trait. Many perfectionists grew up with parents for whom the value of an individual was measured by its success. These parents transmitted their personal requirements very high for their children who felt they would only be loved if they met the standards of excellence.

Finally, the sociocultural influence is not negligible. Adolescents whose circle of friends is very competitive are more likely to be perfectionists than others, as well as individuals who operate in a society where only excellence is valued.

The Dangers of Perfectionism

People who extravagantly describe themselves as perfectionists are more likely to exhibit symptoms such as generalized anxiety, depression, 'obsessive-compulsive disorder' (acronym: OCD) and social phobia.

Perfectionists experience a constant stress, making them more vulnerable to physical and emotional problems, with relational effects such as chronic pain, eating disorders, marital conflict and alcoholism.

Can Perfectionism Be Treated?

A perfectionist will always be methodical. However, therapy can help perfectionists to change their expectations and beliefs toward being more realistic and satisfactory.

The first step for a patient is to recognize and achieve the awareness of the negative effects of perfectionism upon his life. This is a crucial step since perfectionists are not aware of the appearance of excessive expectations on themselves. They consider it normal to be perfect at all times.

A psychologist can work with a client to outline a hierarchy of situations in which perfectionism is unhealthy. Gradually, the perfectionist must lower his standards of excellence, enabling himself to realize that most of the time, nobody notices the difference. It is also a way to help the perfectionist to realize that, even if everything is not perfect, he will still be loved and accepted.

The psychologist guides the patient to recognize that there is a range of possibilities between "failure" and "perfect" and that not all situations require the same degree of perfection.

Finally, the therapy enables the client to learn that the imperfection does not lead to serious consequences.

Did You Know --

Unhealthy perfectionism may occur in different areas of an individual's life such as work, interpersonal relationships, physical appearance and daily tasks.