Are You Practicing Divorce?

Is it true that you need to sow your oats before settling down? To have an effective marriage some day, should you experience several other short relationships before chaining yourself to one person? Are you, by dating around and going from relationship to relationship, preparing for a future of settling down with one person for the long haul? Or, are you practicing divorce?

I have friends that have been together since freshman year of high school. They experienced all their firsts with each other, and now fifteen after high school, they are married with three kids. There are some debate among our circle of friends that the couple should have took time off from being together all that time to date other people and get different experiences before settling down together. But, does serial dating really best.

What we learn from serial dating?

1. Relationships doesn't require work. If the relationship isn't working the way we see fit, then ending it without much work or thought gets implanted in our behavior.

2. There is always someone better. Going from one person to another quickly, can get us in the habit of always looking for something better.

3. It is easier to just start over. Ditching a difficult relationship at the first signs of trouble, and starting over with someone else seems more appealing then riding the relationship out.

What we learn from long-term committed relationships?

1. Successful relationships require lots of work. Anytime there is a joining of two different personalities, there is some adjustment. As the relationship goes on, it gets easier but it isn't without its share of troubles. Both parties must be willing to compromise and work at making it work.

2. The one we have is worth it. You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it still needs mowing. Going from person to person, you will find the same; that everyone has their faults. The key is to find one whose faults you can deal with.

3. It is better to just stay where you are. Every relationships have its ups and downs. If you ride out the storms, there just may be a rainbow waiting for you.

Not every relationship is meant to be and sometimes we can't help but divorce. Sometimes our habits and preconceived thoughts makes way for relationships that will fail. Old habits will dictate the amount of commitment and dedication that we will put into our relationships. But, if we learn and train ourselves early what real commitment is, then we have a more chance at a long and successful marriage someday.

I am not saying that you will have to stay with and marry the very first person you have a relationship. Sometimes you will have to kiss a few frogs before your prince appear. What I am saying is that you will need to train yourself to know that real relationships doesn't end at the first sight of a problem or after the first fight. You must first choose the type of person that you will want to be in a real relationship with; someone you wouldn't mind fighting for. If you get accustomed to giving an effort to relationships to begin with, then when it is permanent, you will be ready and able to effective handle it.