Are You Prejudice Against the Chronically Ill?

When you first read the title of this article, you probably automatically think, "Who me? No, of course not! I would never be prejudiced against someone who is sick!" Once you have finished reading this article, you may find that you answer differently. The hardest part of having a chronic illness is not the actual illness itself, but people's ignorance to it. Whoever coined the phrase "ignorance is bliss" was obviously a healthy person!

As a chronically ill person, I have made it a personal goal to educate society on the myths and prejudices of life as a sick person. Illnesses like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, which are common and well-known, are two of the most misunderstood diseases. Over the past 20 years the medical community and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) are mostly to blame for the American public's unawareness of these diseases. Even today, after major research and millions of sick patients, there are still many physicians who believe these illnesses do not exist.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia (FMS) are very complex diseases that have several symptoms each that can range from mild to disabling. I can honestly say that I do understand why it is hard for people to comprehend what we go through daily.

What do you think when I say I never have a day where I feel good? Some days are better than others, but I never feel normal. If you are healthy, my reality is probably impossible for you to fathom. By admitting and saying I am chronically ill does not mean that I define myself as just a chronically ill person. It is a fact, reality and it is something I have to admit and be fully aware of because of the repercussions that I will experience if I do not heed to my body's warnings.

Most people have good intentions and mean will but often they will say things they feel we need to hear in order to cheer us up. Their comments or advice usually have the opposite effect. It becomes frustrating, emotionally challenging and often leads to isolation because no one gets it. Hopefully by reading this, your eyes will be opened and you will have a new understanding and appreciation for what those of us who are chronically ill go through and deal with. Read on and see if you are guilty of these comments and/or myths surrounding chronic illness.

"You don't look sick". What does sick look like anyway? What vision comes to mind when you hear that word? How many times have you said or thought this when someone told you they had CFS, Fibromyalgia or some other chronic illness? What is going on inside the body is not always reflected on the outside.

"If you just think positive, believe you're not sick and tell yourself you're not sick, you will get better." I fully believe in the importance of having a positive attitude. A positive attitude can help someone deal with the daily struggles and helps with the depression that often follows a chronic illness. But just believing and wanting to be well in itself isn't going to happen in most cases. I also fully believe in the power of prayer and miracles do happen. But for most of us, unless cures are found for our illnesses, we are sick and have to learn to live with it.

"You just have to force yourself (or push yourself) to get up and go". Imagine a balloon full of helium floating in the air. Now take that balloon, untie the knot and leave all of the air out. What will happen to the balloon? It will fall to the floor. Pick up the balloon and try throwing it back up into the air to float. What happens? It falls to the ground. No matter how many times you throw that balloon up, it's going to fall back down. You can't force something that is not there. It's the same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. CFS is more than just the normal tired. There are days when I am just like the balloon analogy I used. There is absolutely no energy available to do anything, even get out of bed.

"I know someone who has cancer/MS/is dying and they still work. Why can't you?" CFS and Fibromyalgia can be very disabling. In fact, the CDC has compared the level of disability caused by CFS to multiple sclerosis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and end-stage renal failure. Everyone's body is different. What is doable for one person with chronic illness may not be for another.

"You wouldn't have all of these health problems if you would just lose weight". This is one of my favorites. I was thin when I became ill so losing weight is not going to magically cure me.

Handicapped parking. What do you picture when you think of someone who requires handicapped parking? Are you picturing an elderly person? A person who is missing a leg? Someone in a wheelchair? What do you think or say when you see someone who is young and looks healthy parking in a handicapped zone? Do you immediately assume that they are just being lazy and don't want to have to walk far? Have you ever confronted someone because you assumed they shouldn't be parking there?

It happens all of the time to many of us with CFS and Fibromyalgia and to other people with chronic illness. A good friend of mine who has CFS has a great comeback line she uses when people approach her and tell her she doesn't look and shouldn't be parking in the handicapped zones. Her response? "Looks can be deceiving. You don't look ignorant but obviously you are." She says it works every time! Don't automatically assume that someone is not handicapped just because they don't fit a certain stereotype of what you perceive handicapped to be.

So now I will ask you again. Are you prejudice against the chronically ill? I bet your answer has changed from the beginning of this article.