Are You Ready for Baby Number Two?

There came a time for me, as it does with many other parents, when it hit me that my daughter just wasn't a baby anymore. She no longer fit into the tiny clothes I had to pack up, she no longer fell asleep cradled in my arms, and her cooing and babbling had turned into little sentences, among lots of other big-girl feats. I officially wanted baby number two! But sometimes our hearts want something and our brains want otherwise, and in my case, I knew waiting was the better option so I could work on my Master's, among other things. Deciding when to have number one is hard, but in some ways deciding on number two can be harder! Here are some things to consider:

Age difference

Ask the simple question, "What is the ideal age difference between siblings?" and you'll get tons of different answers. Some people start trying for number two within months of having their first, hoping that having two close in age will make the kids good friends, and hoping to have the children they want close together so they can be done with the infant years quickly. Others wait much longer, 5 or more years, wanting to give their first time by himself before a sibling comes along, and not wanting two kids in diapers at the same time/ two kids in college at the same time, etc. I personally like the idea of a 2-3 year age gap.

Make sure you're looking at the big picture

I started wanting another baby soon after my daughter turned one. In my head, I had romanticized the early months…I remembered my daughter as a cuddly, smiley, babbly baby who was in general a very good baby. I missed being pregnant too…I had a fairly good pregnancy experience and just remembered the fun of seeing my baby on ultrasounds and the wonder of feeling her kick inside me and knowing there was another human being in me. Those things were true, but I was forgetting the uncomfortableness of the 9^th month, labor, sleepless nights with the baby, teething, etc. What really gave me a reality check was reading the journal I kept during my pregnancy and my baby's early months. Reading it brought back memories, both good and bad, but the bad ones were enough to make me realize I wasn't ready to go through that again with a toddler in tow just yet.

Are both parents on board?

A lot of times just one parent catches baby fever while the other is content to wait. Both parents should feel ready to have a baby, no matter what number child you're trying for. If neither partner is willing to give in to the other's side, try having a heart to heart about it and making a list of why you think the way you do. Finally, be willing to compromise. Maybe you feel like you're really not ready to have another just yet, but you're willing to reconsider the subject a few months down the line.