Are You Ready to Date?

Are you ready to take that first step to venture out and put yourself on the 'market'?

Stepping out into the dating scene, whether it's for the first time, or for the first time in a long time, can be quite intimidating. The horror stories from friends and family are enough to scare even the bravest soul from dating, but then books and television can romanticize dating as well, sending conflicting messages.

On television, in books, and at the movies, dating is often portrayed as a comedy, or romantically, often with a happily-ever-after ending. We walk away from the theater emotionally unattached to the characters. We laugh; we cry. We get angry at the 'bad' guy on the screen, the one who lies, cheats or abuses. Then, we walk away from the movie and move on with our lives.

In real life, it's not so easy to walk away... not when it's your life. In real life, when he cheats, it hurts. When she tells you it's over, it lingers with you for a long time. Unlike scenes in a movie or a book, real-life pain is not easily solved in just a few hours or a few chapters.

This isn't to say that you shouldn't date, thinking that this way you can avoid the pain. Not at all. In fact, there are so many wonderful things that can come from sharing the most intimate parts of yourself with another, through love, trust, faith, and open communication, that if you choose not to ever date, you would miss all these wonderful things, too.

If you've never dated before or if this is your first time venturing into the dating scene, you have to ask yourself if you are prepared for all the pitfalls that may occur.

Questions to Ask Yourself to See If You're Ready to Date

Am I emotionally strong enough to handle rejection?

It is important to realize, no matter how attractive you may be or how much fun you may be to hang out with, you may meet someone with whom you just do not 'click.' If this happen, rejection is inevitable.

So, you have to ask yourself if you are prepared for that rejection. Do you believe strongly enough in yourself and feel good enough about yourself that you understand that rejection is a part of life and not take it personally?

You need to believe and understand that if a person is not interested in you, it does not mean you are a bad person or that you are unworthy of love and affection. It simply means that you and this particular person did not properly 'click' together and that you should continue to look for the right person for you.

Am I strong enough to reject another in a way that leaves them and me feeling good about the experience?

As stated earlier, rejection is part of the game. Most people understand that it is difficult being rejected, but many do not actively consider the fact that they may have to reject another nor are they prepared to handle having to reject someone, should this occur.

It is possible that you can meet a great guy or a wonderful woman and that everything about them may be just what you think you want, but for whatever reason, you just don't 'click' right with this person, and you know in your heart that they will never be anything more than a friend.

It is important that you treat people with the same type of respect and courtesy with which you want to be treated. When you find yourself faced with a situation where you must tell someone that they simply are not the right person for you, are you prepared to handle having to reject them, without it causing emotional damage to yourself? Are you strong enough to tell them how you feel, so that you do not end up in a relationship in which you simply drifted, because you couldn't tell them they weren't the one for you?

Are my past relationships resolved?

This one is important. You must ensure that you are truly ready to move forward and share your special times with another, without a third person's memory getting in the way. If you find that you still constantly think about previous partners, or perhaps the relationship has ended but you and your previous partner are still separating property or tangled in legal issues due to the break up, divorce or death of a partner, and if you find yourself comparing other partners to this person frequently, chances are you are not ready to bring someone else into that role in your life, because it's still occupied.

What type of a relationship are you looking for?

Do you just want to hang out with friends? Are you just looking for someone to casually date now and then so that you don't have to be alone on Friday or Saturday night? Or, are you really looking for someone to date who can become your best friend, your lover, and your partner for life?

All of these are more than acceptable desires, but it's important to know what you want before you venture out there, so you don't waste your time or anyone else's, or perhaps even end up with a broken heart and hurt feelings that didn't have to happen, simply because you two may want different things.

It's okay if you only want a casual relationship, but the important thing is to be upfront and honest with your date from the beginning, so that if they are looking for something different, there is no misrepresentation.

Of course, there are other questions you may need to ask yourself, but these questions are a good starting point to ask yourself if you are ready to venture into the dating scene, if you are ready to date, or if you are ready to start dating again.