Are You in a Secret Relationship?
When You Keep Your Relationship a Secret
At first, secret relationships can feel mysterious and exciting. You arrange dates outside your normal hang-outs and restaurants and you plug a fake name into your cell phone so no one really knows who's calling. After a while, however, the secrecy of the relationships becomes a chore and you are forced to re-evaluate your reasons for keeping your secret. When you remain in hiding and in fear, you close the door to true intimacy and you run the risk of ruining the relationship before it really has a chance to begin.
Give Family and Friends Some Credit
Often, secret relationships are the product of unfounded fears. Is it really so hard to believe that the people you love will be supportive? Can you not imagine your friends and family welcoming your significant other into your lives? It's important to at least try and give friends and family the benefit of the doubt when it comes to secret relationships. Give them a chance to come to terms with the idea, regardless of the reason for their potential anger or disappointment.
Evaluate Your Reasons for Secrecy
You must also try and figure out why you and your significant other are battling for secrecy. Is a secret relationship really necessary? Sometimes it helps just to bite the bullet if you are worried what other people will think. You have to realize that the only thing that matters is how you feel about the other person. Sometimes, the reasons for a secret relationship boil down to the fact that you don't really want to be together. If this is the case, you're better off cutting your losses before anyone gets hurt.
Tell Friends and Family Alone
Sometimes it helps if you talk to your friends and family without your significant other. If you're worried about your loved ones judging him or her, you'll be able to deal with the immediate reactions and move on toward acceptance. You don't want to bring your secret relationship to light and risk knee-jerk reactions that might hurt both of you.
Give People Time to Adjust
It's entirely possible that the reactions you imagined won't be a factor when you actually spill the beans, but if you are met with resistance to your relationship, give everyone time to adjust. Don't flaunt your relationship or insist that everyone become comfortable right away. Instead, back off and let everyone deal with it in their own way. When they're ready to accept you and your relationship, they'll let you know.
Beware Those Who Request a Secret Relationship
It is one thing to mutually decide to conduct a secret relationship, but beware anyone who insists on it as a condition for dating them. This suggests both internal and external problems that are better worked out alone. You could be setting yourself up to get hurt.
Published by Steve Thompson
Steve is a full-time freelance writer. In addition to the more than 3,000 articles he's written for AC, he has also written articles and other materials for more than 100 happy clients. He enjoys writing abo... View profile
What is The Secret? Are you looking for a change? Do you want to know more about "The Secret"? Read on for my thoughts and some of what I've learned after watching "The Secret".
Teleseminar Calls the Secret the "Wish Fairy"Marketing experts hold teleseminar and call The Secret the most dangerous book since Mein Kemph.
My Biggest Secret - I Am AfraidMany people talk about the trials and tribulations their lives face because of the way their children behave. Although having children is still a long way off for me, I keep it...
MY BIGGEST SECRETThe Biggest Secret I Have Is Not Really A Secret At All!- How to Help Families with Special Needs Children: Guide for Friends and Family Mem...How friends and family can help parents of an autistic child. Many simple things that take little time or effort but will make a huge impact on the family's life.
- Mackenzie Phillips: Family Secret Revealed to Oprah
- Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper as a Never-Ending Trade Secret
- How to Have a Happy Relationship
- Why Women Need a Secret Bank Account
- My Biggest Secret
- Top Five Mistakes Women Make with Men: Making Mistakes with a Man Can End Your Rel...
- A Relationship Perpetuated on the Virtual Realms of "Second Life "- Come to an End...
- Give People Time to Adjust
- Give People Time to Adjust
- Beware Those Who Request a Secret Relationship
7 Comments
Post a Commenti love my boy friend and he loves me but if anyone knew we were together it would be horible because already have a bad time at school
I have been in a secret relationship for 4 months now. no one knows not even our best friends. My girls best friend started to figure it out and we both denied it. she didnt believe us but still suspected it. a month later she suspected again and wanted the truth. i thought my girl should have told her the truth and for her to just help us keep it on the low. but my girl denied it again. i just went with it. her best friend got real mad cause she knew we were lying. they haven't spoken for a month now cause of it and now the other day they made up, she still suspects it so i told my girl to just tell her the truth before things get worse. i know her friend well and know she wont say anything and let us have our privacy. i told her if she doesnt say anything then im going to have to tell her and i feel like she'll get mad and brake it off with me and at the same time she going to loose her friend. i dunno... what do you guys think? any help please would be much appreciated
one need to learn attitude to gratitude.Being in an acted life can give happiness for a while but the reason will always curse u. I dont think the best alternate to hide secrets is to act innocent in break up life and fool around the known ones grumbling about it just to avoid and keep distance. no matter how much one try to hide truth always comes out in some or the other way round. acting break up tips makes one more cheap that facing the fact and move on. Its cunning way human behave for their selfish mean. no wonder there is low selfesteem and distrust coz they are the culprits who cant belive or trust others .shame of liers and dramatic brooks.
True love should have no shames! Why hide your love! Hiding your love will not make you love the person better! If you TRULY love someone than secrets,sneaking around and all of that immature acts should not be. If you feel as though you have to hide your love. Put a brown paper bag on your face and be seen with them. No matter what the reason may be real love should not be hidden. If think this acceptable than you may be suffering from low self esteem and desperation. Don't be a brown paper bag dummie!
I'm also in what you can say is a secret relationship and it's tough trying to keep it all private especially when I love this man with all my heart.
Im in a secret relationship.My girlfriend is a familyfriend for 4 years.But her parents haves suspicion about us.Her friends only knows that I am courting her for almost 4 months.And we are a 1-month together.please help me!
If you are currently in a secret romantic relationship, please consider telling us about it by filling out a brief survey online. For more information, please click on the link below (or copy and paste it into your browser window) for more information.
https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=120698
Please note that we do not ask questions that require you to provide any personally identifying information. Your responses will be kept strictly confidential, and all data will be encrypted using the same standards that businesses use for handing credit card information. Your help is greatly appreciated!