Are You Too Nice? 7 Warning Signs to Look For

Almost everyone wants to be known as a nice person. People like nice people, and who doesn't want to be liked? But, to what lengths do you go to make sure other's like you? Is it possible that you are "too nice?"

Below are 7 key signs that will help you determine if you are in fact "too nice."

1. You Always Say Yes

If you find it unbearable to tell someone no, then you are too nice. There are a number of reasons why people are unable to say no. They're afraid the other person will get mad or have their feelings hurt. It may be the fear that people will not like you if you tell them no. Sometimes individuals feel like they don't have the right to say no, especially if they are dealing with an authority figure.

2. You're always making Compromises

Compromise is a good thing when it is done in the best interest of everyone involved. However, when you constantly compromise the things you want in favor of doing what another person wants a lot of resentment will begin to grow. This is not in your best interests or that of the other person.

3. You never ask for what you want

Being unable to express your needs and desires is another symptom of being too nice. A lot of the time the "nice" person believes it is actually greedy and inappropriate to ask for things. They think that they are being a burden to others.

In addition to never asking for what they want, the individual probably avoids actions like, having the last slice of pizza, finishing off the milk in the fridge, or taking the front seat in the car.

4. You Get Stuck Doing All of the Dirty Work

Do you find yourself often doing the chores or taking care of responsibilities at home or work that no one else wants to do? This is another situation the "too nice" person finds themselves in on a regular basis. Sometimes it gets to the point that people don't even ask you to do these things anymore; everyone assumes that you'll just do it.

5. You Can't Voice your Opinions

You are in a situation where someone is doing something you think is inappropriate but you can't bring yourself to say anything. A co worker says something you disagree with and you pretend to go along with it in order to avoid conflict. A friend continuously embarrasses you in public and you say nothing. People who are "too nice" often find themselves in situations where they feel uncomfortable or offended but are too afraid to say so.

6. You find yourself in the position of "Shrink"

If you can't say no, are unable to voice your opinions, are continuously making compromises, and always say yes, then it's very likely that you have found yourself listening to all of your friends and families problems.

Of course there is nothing wrong with offering a helping hand and being there for others, but if you allow everyone to unload their problems onto you for an extended period of time it is going to take its toll. We all have challenges to face, and it's hard to deal with them if we are busy dealing with everyone else's too.

7. You feel like you're living Someone Else's Life

If you feel like your life isn't even yours anymore, then you have surpassed being too nice and become a doormat. People are using you and you are allowing them to. The decisions you make on a daily basis are determined by how other people will react to you. You negate yourself in order to keep everyone else happy.

Why do we do this?

We do this because we don't believe that we're valuable on our own. We're convinced that the only way to experience a sense of self worth is to have the constant approval of others. If you don't agree with this, consider how you feel when someone is unhappy with you; most likely you feel as if you have failed in some way; that you are bad or not good enough.

Every person that lives their lives this way eventually reaches an intense level of unhappiness. We can not ignore ourselves and our desires and still be happy.

If any of this rings true for you, that's ok. You haven't done anything wrong. Every one wants to make others happy and we all want to be happy ourselves. Everything we do, whether we realize it or not, is an effort to live a happier life.

The important thing is that you understand that as long as you sacrifice yourself for others, happiness is not possible. Once you realize this and accept it, you can begin to take control of your life again and make it your own.

Note: If you have concluded from this that you are in fact too nice, you might find the links on the left, listed under resources to be helpful.