Are You Unknowingly Putting Your Child in Harm's Way?

Keeping your child out of harm's way is one of the top priorities for every parent. But did you know many of the things your parents taught you, that you are now passing along to your children can actually harm them instead of help them? Let's take a look at some of the things you might be innocently telling your children that might actually be putting your child in harm's way.

Find a police officer if you get lost.

This is really risky as most children can't discriminate the difference between a cop and a security guard. Did you know the high number of security guards that end up being convicted for violent crimes including rape and murder? With that in mind, a uniformed person is the last person a child should ask for help.

Tell them to find a woman. Women are the best known to take your child to safety. Many men will help, but mostly they will tell the child what to do and then leave the child on their own to do it, where a woman will generally stay with your child until help is available. So, find a mom that has kids, or a woman is your best bet to teach your child in case they get lost and need help.

Don't talk to strangers.

This is unrealistic and confusing to children. They see you talk to strangers all the time. They are expected to talk to strangers when they start school, the bus driver, lunch lady, etc.... Not knowing exactly WHO is a stranger can be an impossible task for a child.

It's better to tell your child to stay far away from strangers. I've practiced staying ten feet away with my daughter. It gives your child time to run if they feel they need to. Train your child that if an adult asks them for help, such as finding a lost pet, or directions, that your child should state, I'll find an adult to help you. They should then run the opposite direction and find a trusted adult. It's also okay to have your child tell someone to please stay back, and if they don't, the child should start screaming and running.

Keeping secrets.

Keeping secrets has its place, good friends keep secrets. But many situations call for being able to let a child know what sort of secrets need to be talked about.

If someone is doing something they shouldn't be doing and trying to make your child not tell, that is always the first indication that your child should tell. Practice with them so they know the difference. Also, make sure they know if someone says "If you tell, I'll - fill in the blank with some horrible deed", that they NEED to tell you and that it's okay to tell because you can make sure that the horrible deed doesn't happen.

Be polite.

It's okay to be rude sometimes. If an adult offered a spot in the elevator at the mall, should your child be polite and accept or be rude and say no and run away? What about if they are approached at the bus stop by a stranger that says hi and wants to shake their hand? Think about situations that your child may be in where being rude might be the best bet, and talk to them about it. Practice these scenarios so you can feel assured that your child really gets it.

Online Safety:

I know we've all heard a lot about keeping your child safe online. I still see so many children publicly stating the school they attend, their real name, and way too much personal info.

If you are going to allow your child to have a personal networking profile, monitor it vigorously. Make sure every item is set to personal and do not allow personal profile picturess to be posted. In fact set the password and don't tell your child what it is. Only allow your child to play the games or chat with their friends after you've logged them on. Then supervise them while they are on it. Pre-teens may have a little more privacy, but use common sense in what level you will allow. If any child tries to "friend" your child, and you don't know who that child is, don't allow it. Cute little Billy from the same town or even a different town could really be skanky butt Bob trying to find an "in" into your cute little child's account.

Watch your own profile and profile pics too. I was absolutely shocked to see a profile pic of a little five year old girl, posted for her mother's account. The account states that this woman is single and looking for dating, relationships, etc.... If that is not a pedophile magnet, then I don't know what is. And no, it wasn't an account set by professionals trying to scope out pedophiles either.

One of the most important all around topics you can address with your child to help them stay out of harm's way is to teach them to listen to follow their own instincts. Challenge them often to help them get and stay tuned into that very important part of themselves. Questions like "How do you feel about....." and "What do you think you would do if....." are a couple of great questions to open up some good conversations about this. This is also helpful as they get a bit older and new security topics such as safe dating, going out later in the evening and being more independent becomes more and more a part of their life.