Are You a Victim? Do You Help a Victim?

There are victims and victims. Of course we are all victims of something; ranging from the worst like child abuse( and I'm not talking about those) to people going on and on how unfairly they are treated in life. My problem is with people who are not actual victims, they are just good at "playing the victim". They are very good at acting, that's for sure. These types can be found in the Medical Professional's waiting-rooms and are usually hypochondriacs. Doctors, who have studied long an hard and have worked all hours of the day to become a Medical Professional have to listen to hours and hours of vague complaints from these people. What they want to hear is that they have a dreadful disease with a long name (but not so bad you can actually die from it). Then they can tell their family with tears in their eyes that someone needs to take care of them. Because they are "sick". This is emotional blackmail of the highest order, but a lot of people do it and a lot of us go for it. Whole families are manipulated by people like that.

Another one is having an addiction. People start an addiction and when everything turns to custard they are "the victim" and so someone else is supposed to take care of them. Family and friends of alcohol and drug abusers know exactly what I mean. "I can't take care of myself, I can't take responsibility for my actions and myself, so you do it, please take over my life!" is what they are saying.

I had a friend who started drinking heavily. I had warned this friend a couple of times and offered help, I gave the phone number of the local AA. This, as expected, was rejected. This friend has caused a couple of car-accidents and has lost his drivers-license, because of this. I had hoped that that was a lesson for him but in order to get the alcohol he got in the car again until he temporarily lost his memory, while driving. After this he decided he couldn't drive anymore, not because he was a danger to other people but "he could get killed". And so I got the phone call if I could drive him around town! I declined and an argument erupted. This is what I mean by emotional blackmail. This person created his own problems and don't want to be helped the right way (going to the AA).And so he plays the victim.

There are many examples of "playing the victim", unfortunately. People who are well capable to live their lives but are leeching on others. I am not talking about people who have real cause to ask for our help; and we should not deny our help to them at all. The elderly, victims of serious crimes, victims of catastrophic events, real sick people, disabled people. I hope you'll try your darnest to help them.

But if you leave the people who have created their own misery alone, they have to grow up like all of us, take the responsibility for their own actions in life and find their own solution. If you give a drug-addict money, he will buy drugs for it and is not helping himself. You could give him the phone number of a local drug help-center instead. If someone is severely overweight it is truly better if you don't do the housework for them; they have to get up and do it themselves. I know, it sounds harsh and I'm sure a lot of people won't agree with me, but aren't they the same people we capable folks should stay away from?