Are We on a Date?

We've all had those ambiguous male-female relationships, where it's hard to tell if it's friendship or romance. You probably know where you stand with regards to the relationship, but what is he thinking? When he asks you out for drinks, dinner or to a movie, is it just as friends, or is it a date? Here are five questions to help you figure it out. If you can answer "yes" to three or more of these, then chances are the you are on a date-- at least in his mind!

1. Does he pay for you?
Although friends often pay for each other when they go out, in a male/female situation where the relationship is somewhat ambiguous, him paying for you is a sign that there could be romantic interest. Should you offer to pay? That's up to you. I always offer to pay, even if I know it's a date, just because I don't expect anyone else to pay for me. However, I graciously accept someone's offer pay for my meal after I've already communicated that I don't expect it. Don't automatically assume that you're on a date if he pays-- but it's one indicator that he has more on his mind than just friendship.

2. Did he seem to put extra effort into his appearance?
It's not just women who want to look good on a date. Men often put thought into their clothing, their cologne and their hair. Does he look nicer on your outing then he typically does? Does it seem that he took a some extra time to make a good impression with his appearance? Maybe he's wearing a nice shirt, and it's well-ironed. Maybe he's wearing khaki pants when he typically wears jeans. Maybe you smell cologne on him that he doesn't typically wear. These are all signs that he could have a romantic interest in you.

3. Does he avoid talking about his dating life?
If he tells you about the other women he's dated in the past, or who he's currently dating, then he probably is looking at you as a friend. Perhaps he wants a female perspective on his love life. If he were interested in you romantically, he probably wouldn't reveal too many details about past relationships, or other women he's dating. If he is dating other women and tells you about it, then he's either making himself look "hard to get" or he's confiding in you as a friend. If he's going the "hard to get" route, then I would suggest to steer clear, anyway. You don't have time to be playing these sorts of games.

4. Does he physically interact with you?
Observe his body language and notice how he interacts with you. If he's frequently touching your arm or shoulder, that could be a sign of attraction. If he touches your leg or your knee, that's an even stronger indicator that he's interested in you physically. How close does he sit to you? The closer he gets, the more likely it is that he has a romantic interest in you. At the end of a outing, a kiss certainly indicates romance, but an extra long hug could also be a sign that you were on a date. If you are interested in romance, then let him know that this type of interaction is welcome. However, if you want to communicate that you are looking for a platonic relationship, then try to keep some physical space between the two of you.

5. Does he compliment you?
Friends certainly compliment friends, but compliments are much more free-flowing in a dating situation. Does he tell you that you look good? Does he make positive comments about your personality or the things you do? The more compliments he gives you, the more likely it is that he's romantically interested.

Once you have a better idea of what's going through his head, you can act accordingly. Hopefully, you both want the same thing-- either friendship or romance. If you feel like you need to better communicate your true intentions to him, then you can focus on the above areas to send the right message.