Are We Listening to Each Other?

On a regular basis, I have the occasion to hear one of my colleagues use the expression, "Have a great day." Each time I do, it occurs to me that (perhaps due to my tendencies toward cynicism) if I were on the receiving end, my first question might be, "Do you really care about the quality of my day?"

We use these expressions prolifically and I am reminded of a harmless exercise in which I would indulge many years ago. This was an illustration of how little people listen to each other. A manager and I often (in public) would begin a conversation, starting with "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long." The other would respond with, "My dog died, they repossessed my car and my house has been foreclosed." The verification of how little we listen was in the form of the other person's response, "Glad to hear it. So good to know that you're doing well."

My personal aversion to the "Have a nice day" cliche is that most of the people who perpetrate this habit can't possibly care about the nature of my day. When you consider that these are the cashiers at my grocery store, the barista at Starbuck's or someone whom I have called with a credit card dispute, the message is quite clear. In the attempt to assuage our indifference or appear to be caring, considerate people, we often resort to cliche and mindless retort.

Realistic as I consider myself to be, I am quite clear that one person's objections cannot possibly have any effect on poor verbal habits. During my professional day, I hear clients often wish me a nice day, generally dispensed as a result of good service received. But that's a different story, I believe. In addition to the possibility of my having earned those wishes, it would be a true affront to customer service to respond, "Do you really care if my day is nice?" This is not offered as a reason not to make my own small impact on communication, any more than not contributing to a human services organization because we have no chance of eliminating world hunger.

Perhaps I can offer some alternatives. Knowing that some of us may wonder if you are sincere in your wishes, how about, "Is there anything else I may do for you?" My response would be that I believe the sincerity of this person and his/her desire to be of assistance. Another would be, "Thank you for calling," or "Thank you for visiting us," especially if the subject of our interaction was a positive or productive one.

We have numerous daily opportunities to thank providers for excellent service, kind attention or any measure of consideration above and beyond what is standard. Consequently, sincere smiles fall into this category as well as a signature statement such as, "I'm very glad you phoned" or "Please don't hesitate to let us know if we may help in any way."

This is not designed to be a lesson in ethics, morality, courtesy or anything else. In the attempt to have some time and thought dedicated to improving communications between ourselves, it might be useful to think about the ways that we interact with those who spend their days contributing time and effort to others. As one who does so, I can assure you that it is so appreciated.

Every now and then I have a client who elects to write a letter commenting on the superlative customer service that I have provided. Amidst all of the curmudgeons and creeps who are rude, it really does make a difference. So if you do receive excellent service and courtesy, please refrain from an automatic and emotionless, "Have a great day," choosing instead to express sincere gratitude.