I can remember the gathering of family around a dinner table and everyone was excited, highly enthusiastic, and eager to be sitting to a meal with loved ones and even food!! That was what made it good, the food. The people of the family joining for a time of community with each other, it was an expected thing. It was a part of the very day and each of them too. Voices would all be heard at once; one kid would be hopping on one foot and then the other and yearning for a special notice in order to exclaim "...that one really important thing..." that happened so that all would hear it. Another would be totally engrossed in some communication or the other with another member of the gathering clan. The aromas of various fractions of the dinner would be filling the air and the olfactory sensors of every member whether talking passionately non stop to everyone or lost in quiet reflection of their own was taking it all in. The entire scene, the odiferous ambience as well as the noise, clatter and various social stimuli were all each mere portions of the whole.
Everything that happened, whether it was big or small, visual or auditory played an equal part in the entire scene as it played out at each meal. It was love, it was familial bonding that glued, cemented the societal tapestry of America. It was all common too in that it was simple. That is not to say it was ignorant, or stupid, or ill informed. In fact, to anyone who was witness to such a thing, it was anything but a promotional system for rampant stupidity or ignorance. Quite to the contrary, that environment is no place to shoot off an idea or a viewpoint one has no information to support. There may well be no environment on earth that will serve to crush ignorance or ill-proposed ideology more severely than the quick wit, acidic power and infinite wisdom that sat around the family dinner table of old.
It was a simple time. No one was discussing what fashionable clothes they had, were interested in or had heard of. If someone was clean, their clothes were presentable and the hands were free of evidence of work beyond calluses one was fit to join the family at that hallowed gathering. If someone were to be critical, they had best have substantial details that far exceeded the definition that could even hint at gossip. There were near no new cars and if there was one somewhere in the family everyone in the family knew about it within seconds. That sort of news spread like a Kansas grassfire.
There is no dispute that times in America have changed. That above is a mere illustration that reserves the vein of my thought for the question I wish to ask. The days of name dropping and acceptance of gossip as repeatable, and being aware of things like the activities of celebrities beyond what they do for a living have arrived. There is no arguing those things. We have come to a time when so many people have a new or near new car that it is actually embarrassing to be in an old car-unless it is a restored classic worth many times more than it was originally- and that may pose an interesting part of a question we should be asking.
I have asked everyone I have met these questions over the last few years. It is near unanimous that we have become a distant facsimile of what we once were. Many envision us as a people who can no longer even be trusted as members of the world regarding our ability to be a reliable and responsible member of the emerging global community because of what they see is the general trend of America to be apathetic and self absorbed with ourselves and blind to the needs of the world.
These are my questions. Have at them. I promise not to bother unless someone asks me something specific.
How much is too much?
Have Americans become freakish self absorbed people?
Are we evolving or unraveling?
Published by Daniel Doyle
I'm 50 years old, and a ten year US Army Veteran. I have lived a life of love as well as tragedy and pain as well as joy. I am a self-employed electrician when I'm not playing. I play as much as possible. View profile
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29 Comments
Post a CommentMrsD, That really is a very good question. Please allow me to ask, who better than you to answer that for yourself?
The bonds are there but they are weakened and stretched by the constant stressors of modern life - lack of time, financial crisis, long-distance family ties, and a general dissatisfaction with work life. What can we do to take our lives back before we waste too much of it?
Great insights! It is hard to pinpoint where the fabric of our society has begun to unravel. There is little family unity - the occasional Sunday dinner feels almost like an obligation in our hectic lives. How sad...and it isn't just the younger generation - even the grandparents are too busy to take the time to spend more than an hour or two with the kids and grandkids. I admire cultures such as the Mediterranean and Latin American cultures that have somehow been able to make and keep family ties a priority. We just want too much and need to do to much to get it. We have so many goals, ambitions, and dreams that we have to let something else go and that is often the peaceful, more relaxed family life of decades ago. Wouldn't we all like a taste of the Norman Rockwell lifestyle once in a while? I sometimes dream of just selling everything off and taking off with my family to a rural retreat or in a RV across the country to just reestablish the bonds. The bonds are there but they are we
Wonderful article! I am all in favor of returning to a simpler way of live and throwing out all the "modern conveniences" that only seem to make life more complicated. Right now I'm reading A Reasonable Life by Mate, he agrees with a lot of what you're article is saying.
I hope that "me" enjoys the stimulation... :-)
Ms Miller, I feel perilously aware of your sentiments prompting your comment regarding fearing the future. In the three thousand years before 100 years ago, the world and humankinds' relationship to it changed very, VERY little. Suddenly, young people are facing a future that actually promises to nearly strike null and void all that has been. The immediate future, that which is foreseeable holds in it the sight of each day rendering the events of the past one not only past, but obsolete. Things do seem to be moving far faster than the human can...that is scary...stimulating, exciting, but also scary.
I find the picture associated with this article to be somewhat stimulating. :)
Daniel re: Lincoln I think we can agree it was a mixed bag ... re: the Black Hawk War, it was defined by poor leadership, not the least of which (and I'd say the worst of all) was Black Hawk himself ... thanks, this gives me an idea for a new article!
My response continued: anything to do with government. (may not be word for word) It has everything to do with media hype. I don't understand how intelligent, educated people can buy into this false hype that having more can make us happy, find love, increase finances, and to generally make us better. These are things that are within us, and no amount of "having more" can bring any of these into our lives. #3. Yes, I think we are evolving somewhat. Mostly, in our quest to evolve, we are unraveling because we cannot cope with handling the conveniences life offers without wanting "more". Cell phones have caused us to interact with friends and family in
an impersonal manner. We are too busy to physically be available to the people most important in our lives and we seem to be okay with that. Computers should keep us up to speed on family/friends in our lives, but we only forward junk, jokes and chain letters. How often do you ever e-mail a friend or family member just to say, "Hi
very good article,, although I don't believe that you were a child before the horse! ha, I think too much is when you forget the needs of others, and that is just one definition. Also when it becomes more important to keep making more and not enjoying what you have, especially when it is family and friends. relationships and foremost God. As a society we are greedy, self absorbed, needy, demanding and unraveling, I hope that our society starts getting back to family values and quits trying to keep up with others, credit cards are way out of control and has caused many to live in misery. Dave Ramsey has said that if we dont have the money we don't deserve it, and our society and credit card companies tell us yes, we do, buy more and pay later. and that is a whole other issue!1 very good article 5 stars for you