Are We Really as Honest as We Think We Are?

I remember my father often referring to a particular businessman in our town as a man whose word was as good as gold. Even as a young child, I knew he meant that the man was honest, and that his word could be trusted. Unfortunately, we are living in a world today when men like that are few and far between.

Most of us have reached a place in recent years where we believe very little of what we are told by our public officials. Our recent election, where hundreds of promises were made---many of which have already been broken---was a real eye-opener to me. I now listen to political speeches with a jaundiced ear, if there is such a thing, not believing much of what I hear. Friends tell me that they feel the same way and we wonder, together, how our country has fallen to such a level of dishonesty.

Of course our talks are usually centered on the dishonesty of public figures, but if we, ourselves, were honest, we would have to admit that the rampant dishonesty in our nation is not limited to politicians and leaders. It can, and is, found everywhere.

When we were children, we were punished for dishonest actions such as lying, cheating, stealing, and even for behaving with the intent to deceive. In today's moral vacuum, those things are often ignored because parents, teachers, and even law enforcement officers have much more serious things to contend with.

I couldn't help wondering though, what would happen if the so-called little things became important again? What if we began to expect our children to display honesty in every part of their lives? Would such an expectation result in fewer of the much bigger, more serious things occurring at all? Why not give it a try, I thought.

But then I had another thought. Is it fair to expect kids to be honest in everything they do if we adults are still engaging in our own "little" dishonesty? Of course not. So I propose that we each do an examination of our own personal honesty barometers, and take note of any questionable things that might be there.

Some dishonest things we do don't seem all that important, but most of us are intelligent enough to recognize where honesty ends and dishonesty begins. As a parent, being a good role model for our children should be a top priority. When children see parents exhibiting dishonest behavior, they automatically assume that such behavior is acceptable. Even when we think no one is watching, dishonesty has a way of eventually coming out, or of becoming a habit that is difficult to break.

So, if you want to be known as one of those people whose word is as good as gold, here are some things that to avoid like the plague.

1. Being dishonest through lying.

Lying is simply saying something that isn't true.

But lying can take the form of deceit. We are actually lying when we lead others to believe something is true when it isn't. For example, if a friend asks you to go shopping on Tuesday morning, don't say, "Oh, I usually baby sit my sister's little girl on Tuesdays, if you know very well that you won't be baby sitting until 4 P.M. True, you haven't technically told a lie, but you have led the other person to believe that you would be busy all day. If you prefer not to go, say, "Could we do it another day. I'm baby sitting that afternoon and would rather be rested up when I go to my sister's."

Another example might be to answer with a question in hopes of causing the other person to forget what they asked you. If your mother says, "Did you and Mary get your homework done while you were at the library this afternoon?" don't answer by saying, "Guess what? We saw Mrs. Gray at the library. You remember her, don't you? She was my 3^rd grade teacher."

2. Being dishonest through stealing.

A few of us might shoplift something from a store, but most of us would never stoop to robbing a bank. In our minds, both of these actions would be defined as stealing, although the average person would consider shoplifting a lesser crime. Both are equally dishonest.

It is also dishonest to intentionally keep extra money a clerk hands you when she makes change for the ten dollar bill you used to pay for a few grocery items.

It is also dishonest to ask a child to lie about his or her age in order to get into a movie or qualify for restaurant discounts.

Plagiarizing, or taking something another person has written and claiming you wrote it is stealing. Lots of kids do this when they are supposed to write a report at school. College kids do it and say they just didn't have time to do a paper themselves. Adults frequently do it when they are writing for online blogsites.

My mother was so honest that she refused to use the address stickers organizations send you in the mail unless she donated to whatever cause they represented. (That one is up in the air in my mind. If readers consider it dishonest, make a comment below, and I may have to put it on my no-no list.)

In general, taking something for your own use that belongs to another person is stealing.

If we are doing it, we need to stop it.

3. Being dishonest through cheating.

There are many ways people cheat.

Recent scandals about steroid use in sports shows us how people use cheating to help them win. Whether or not a win gained through cheating is worth much is disputed by some people, but to those who are striving for honesty, there is no question that cheating to win is wrong.

Games of chance always have a percentage of people who try to win by cheating.

Husbands and wives who are unfaithful to their marriage partners are cheating, and such cheating can lead to disastrous results for the entire family.

Claiming more deductions on your income tax return than you are entitled to is cheating.

The TV and newspapers are full of current stories of those who have tricked thousands of people out of great sums of money. This is cheating.

I believe that, even though many of us have slipped into one or more of the 3 categories of dishonesty listed above, most of us really do want to be honest in our dealings with others. To do that, we are going to have to get tough on the little things that spoil the desire for honesty in us. Perhaps, then, we can start a nation-wide return to the time when it was a good thing to be known as a man (or woman) whose word was as good as gold.