Are Women Single by Choice or by Circumstance?

This morning, I was listening to a morning program on a local radio station, and they were discussing a very interesting topic. It was presented in the form of a question: are women single by choice or by chance? The hosts of the program naturally had their own opinions. The female host said that she was single by choice, as she had yet to find the type of man she wanted. One of the male hosts said he was single by choice, as he'd dealt with too many bad relationships. The other male host is in a happy relationship, so in a sense, he couldn't really comment on the issue. They also played several taped answers from a variety of women. Each one had a different reason for why she was currently single. One said she'd rather not be in a long term relationship, as she gets bored easily. In other words, she wants to have the freedom to go in and out of relationships. Naturally, that path has its own bumps. One can only hope she is being a bit circumspect in who she chooses to be with. Another woman said that, due to her career, she does not have time right now to be in a serious relationship. Another one said that as she was now divorced, she didn't need a man at this point in her life. Finally, one said that she'd gone through so many bad relationships that she now needed time to refocus on herself, and that if the right man should come along, fine; if not, she would be okay with that too.

Each woman I listened to gave what I feel was a valid reason. It makes sense that if you have gone through one bad relationship after another, at some point, you will say enough is enough. I can also understand the point of not wanting to commit to something long-term if you already know that you may get bored at some point, and end up cheating on your significant other. As for the divorced woman, maybe her divorce is fairly recent, so she naturally would say she doesn't want or need a man in her life. As for myself, I can say I am single by choice. My reason I'm not sure I can put into words. The easiest reason would be to say I have not found the right person. However, I certainly haven't been looking either. But back to the question presented: are women single by choice or by chance?

I think it's a combination of both. Women today want to maintain their freedom, which we have struggled so hard to acquire. Yet, they also want the cute little house with the picket fence, the loving husband, a child or two - in short, the traditional view of marriage and family. Unfortunately, what prevents so many of us from getting this is that attitudes concerning relationships, marriage, and family have completely changed. People seem to jump in and out of relationships like they're playing a game of musical chairs. Marriages that could last for thirty, forty, fifty, or more years don't make it past the ten year mark because one or both parties don't want to invest the time needed to make the marriage successful. Instead, one or both parties seek the easy way out - divorce. As for the concept of family, just think of the immense number of children that are born out of wedlock. Think of the immense number of children that are born in wedlock, but are now being raised by just one parent instead of two.

It seems that the freedom to do what we wish is the very thing that has led so many women to be single. The independence that so many women now have seems to be a hindrance to them. No matter how much we want it, we can't have it all. We cannot have the successful career, as well as the cute family in the nice home with the picket fence. Somehow, some way, something is going to suffer. I think many women are realizing this, and so for many of us, it's easier to remain single. Our divorce rate is high enough and there are enough broken relationships in our society. Why add to those if you can avoid to? However, it does make for a somewhat lonely life.