Are Work at Home Moms Neglecting Their Kids?
They are on WAHM forums, blogging, writing and constantly looking for that next big thing to come along.
It makes me wonder are they really benefiting their children and who is watching these kids while mom is "at work on line"?
Of the moms that have small children, one has to ponder, who watches these kids all day?
Yes mom gets up every so often to check on them and feed them but how frustrated does she get when they interrupt her work?
Is she just stressed out all day because they are interfering with her on line time?
What about the stay at home moms who have kids in school, does she turn off the computer for the entire night or are those kids being neglected as well?
These are questions we will most likely never get an honest answer to.
By spending so much time on line trying to make money are they essentially just making other's wealthier?
Work from home moms are one of the largest targets for scam artists. One visit to a mom chat community will tell you that. There are floods of posts complaining about scams that somebody fell for.
I recently asked mothers from several different WAHM forums:
"How many hours a day do you spend on line"?
The answers I received were not at all surprising.
The average time spent on line was 7 hours a day.
The common answers seemed to be:
"More than 10"
"A Lot "
"Too many"
During their time on line the majority said they spent it divided between:
- Posting to forums
- Researching
- Working
- Looking for new ways to make money.
Is our dream of staying home to work hurting our kids?
It's a highly debatable topic and one that is sure to raise tempers.
Working mother's feel guilty for leaving their kids at a daycare all day and most will admit to it.
Of the ones that answer honestly the work at home moms actually feel the same guilt about being on line all day and sometimes even all night long.
When looking at both sides of the endless debate between stay at home moms and working moms you can't help but come to the conclusion that neither side has leverage over the other.
Do working mothers actually spend more quality time with their children?
Again, highly debatable. Of the working mother's I have talked to most come straight home and spend the entire evening interacting with their children because they feel guilty for not being there during the day. Do stay at home mom's kids get these same interactions?
A good, respected Daycare center has planned activities, set schedules and other children to interact with.
Is at home care with an "on line working mother" really beneficial to a child?
I am in no way putting down stay at home moms, I am one of them and I commend the sacrifices they too must go through by choosing to stay at home.
I am merely asking the tough questions we ask ourselves daily.
The only fair assumptions we can make are that working and stay at home moms both have guilt, neither knows if they are doing the best that can be done for their children .
Many stay at home moms are putting in more hours a week "on line" than working mother's are at their jobs, yet most are not even making a part-time living let alone a full-time one.
How long will they keep searching for that golden opportunity and when is enough, enough?
Have we gone too far with trying to make a living on line?
If only there were time clocks on line, where we could clock out and not look back until the next day.
The Internet is becoming an addiction for so many entrepreneurs and it's not just moms, people of all ages are having trouble logging off.
What can work at home moms do to fix this growing problem?
Sure we could join one of those Internet addiciton support groups but they're all On line!
That's like having an AA meeting at a bar, it's not helping the problem in the least.
Here are some things we can do to help curb our on line crave:
- Create an on line schedule and stick to it.
- Reevaluate the reasons for wanting to work at home; are we really spending more time with our kids? Shouldn't we be?
- Turn off the computer on the weekends. You might be surprised how hard this is to do but it would make a huge difference to your family if you did.
If all else fails maybe it's time to just breathe and "not" reboot!
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40 Comments
Post a CommentAside from the fact that this article is steeped in ignorant assumptions, I just want to mention that I sometimes use a babysitter even when I am at home. This way, I am there for any emergencies or conflicts, but the sitter can be an extra set of eyes when I am working, and we are all at home and safe!
I have seen this happen, and work is at least work, but there are women out there getting glued on stupid conversation on facebook checking daily babes instead of changing the child. The same people then claim their child is not huggable, meanwhile it is neglected and abused child. Being a mom at home does not mean sitting in front of TV or facebook. Means attending the child. I think all these women should be severely charged and kids saved.
I don't understand why this article was written. Isn't it just as easy, or easier, to neglect a child when you are working a 8 hour shift at an out-of-the-home job?
As a child from a WAHM, I understood that my mom was working, but she was AT HOME when I needed her. She may have not been watching me EVERY second, but who does that? I was so grateful to have my mother stay at home so when I came home from school I didn't have to wait to see her. She was always there when I needed her, and she was still working.
If you are going to neglect your children, than it doesn't matter if you are working at home or if you're at an "actual" job. If you LOVE your children, you WILL NOT neglect them. You will show them love and also show them that you love them through your work to help feed them.
You said that the average WAHM worked 7 hours a day. Isn't the average workday 8 hours, and many times in the office world you can work more than 9 hours per day. So would you rather be
Do you think my kids would be better off in daycare while I worked part-time or full-time? I second the questions about how long it took you to type this article and what damage you did to your children. Many WAHMs hire mommy helpers or work when their kids are asleep, at school, or at friend's houses or even with -- GASP -- daddy. I'm a WAHM; I write here at AC. I have a combination living and dining room area, which is one big room that's half living and half dining. I keep my laptop on the dining room table, and my son plays directly beside me and behind me. I can see him and hear him while I work, and even if he goes up to his room to play, I can hear him. Do you watch your kids every second? Do you watch them as they sleep all night? Then you're no better than me.
I think this is a great article. I was a stay at home mom who worked nights- so a lot of the time I would be half asleep in the mornings and would just let my son watch TV rather than interact with him because I was just too tired. People get mad because they feel guilty- even if they shouldn't. Being a mom is to be full of guilt. I felt guilty staying home and I feel guilty going back to work full time and leaving him in daycare. I will watch my internet time though. Thank you!
Get over it moms. You all are pissed off because she's telling the truth. I know I neglect my kids but I don't tell anyone because then I'll have to get a real job. I don't even do much work. I mostly visit forums and talk under different names. It's better than getting a real job. I always get fired from those anyway.
I for one can agree that there are mothers who neglect their children but to make it out that mothers who work from home are the ones neglecting their children and they would be better off in daycare is an insane, and even may I say uneducated comment??....Maybe your financial situation is different but there are households that would have to pay child care costs and what the mother makes would only pay for that so it would be pointless. Also, I am a WAHM and have been for two years. I write articles and I write those articles five days a week and for 3 - 4 hours a night and I bring in $1000/month and - I write these articles after my kids are in bed. So while I can agree that there may be mothers who need to rethink when and where they are on - you can not keep making it seem like all WAHM's are neglecting their children. For the mom's who are saying they work 6 or 7 hours on the computer - did you even stop to think maybe their kids are in school - that the hours are broken up throug
This article struck a nerve with me because I *did* grow up in a home where the mother's job took precedence over the children's best interest. My mother remembers the ONE day we all piled into the station wagon and spent the day at the lake but what I remember about her at-home job was the hours and hours and hours she'd spend on the phone while I, at 10, was expected to care for 3 younger siblings, including one newborn. Did my mother mean to neglect us? Probably not but that's the way it felt to me then and that's the way I remember it to this day. While my friends' mothers were taking their daughters shopping or just talking mine was always promising "tomorrow" or "when things slow down a little".
Remainder of comments from below: My husband has the main job and I provide enough in one year to pay one $300 heating bill. The only thing suffering around here is the housework and sometimes the finances, not the children. When you leveled a charge of neglect, did you realize that in most states that is grounds for removing children from households? That is a very serious charge and is taken very seriously by authorities. I am looking for a follow up article focusing on work outside the home mothers to make your views seem at least balanced.
Regardless that you think you were not bashing work at home mothers, the article seems to be slanted toward having both parents work outside the home and leave their children in the care of schools and day care centers. I know of situations where the husband and wife both work and just shuffle the children back and forth between their shifts (which from necessity have to be opposite of each other). Where is the quality family life and husband-wife relationship in that? As for me, when my preteen and teen are doing their home schoolwork (which is an online virtual academy), we all work together in the living room, they on their laptop or computer and I on mine. That way I am available to answer questions they may have. And they do have plenty, especially with math and science! I could have followed through with my teaching license and degree and been in the public or private school classroom all the time, but when our second child was born, we chose to do it this way. My husband has the