Are New Yorkers Really Rude?

For decades Mayors of New York City have implored their fellow citizens to be more courteous to one another and more friendly to the City's visitors. They'll try, of course, they always do, but it won't change what visitors to the City think. New Yorkers simply have a reputation for being rude and unfriendly. In their own way, though, New Yorkers are among the most polite people anywhere - real New Yorkers that is. Are they always in a hurry? Sure. Opinionated? Perhaps. Blase'? Definitely. But rude they are not.

For one thing, blase' people can't be rude. Conventional wisdom has it that people who are rude are just being thoughtless. Well, conventional wisdom has it wrong. It's rudeness that takes thought and determination. To hold a door for someone is a natural act. You don't think about it, you just do it. On the other hand, going through a door and letting it slam in someone's face takes planning. You have to know that's the way you'll behave today before you leave home in the morning. A New Yorker will hold the door.

Courteous drivers let other drivers enter the traffic lanes without thinking about it. Rude drivers must make a decision not to let others in and have the determination to take action, i.e., cut the other guy off. Blase' people don't have the interest for such small minded behavior. It doesn't fit their personalities.

Ask someone in any other city for directions and they want to bond with you.

"Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to City Hall?"

"Well, hi. Where are you folks from?"

"We're from New York and we have an appointment at City Hall in ten minutes."

"New York City, eh? I was there once during the war. Rude, they was, and always in such an all fired hurry. Too many people if you ask me. But I got to ride the subway. Didn't like it much, but you folks seem nice enough."

"Thanks, but City Hall? We have an appointment."

"What's going on at City Hall that brings you nice folks all the way from New York City?"

"Well, it's personal business, and we are quite late, so if you could just point the way."

"Why, sure. We don't come into town much anymore, what with the crime and all. I guess I don't have to tell you folks about crime, being from New York City. Well, City Hall, let's see now. The best way is probably to go over to Main and then go left to the Square, don't you think, Helen?"

"Well, no, Herb. I don't think so. Main is closed for street repairs and they have the sidewalk all tore up. They should go over to Superior and then to the Square."

"No, I think they got done with the street work. I remember reading they did in the paper. Go to Main like I said. Hope you like our fair city. It's not much compared to New York City, but we like it."

A similar situation in New York.

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Madison Square Garden?"

"Sure. Two blocks down and one block ovah. Ya can't miss it," the New Yorker says, jabbing his finger twice in one direction and once to the right.

"Thanks."

"Sure," he says as he disappears into a subway entrance.

The New Yorker wasn't being unfriendly, he was being considerate of the visitor's time. He assumed, probably correctly, that the visitor was more interested in getting to the Garden than in getting to know him.

Still, New Yorkers are constantly hearing that they are rude and unfriendly. They keep trying to improve, but nothing seems to change. They'll hear the same complaints next year, and next year try even harder. So, what's the real problem here?

It's obvious to the most casual observer. Visitors complain of rude and unfriendly behavior. Where in the City are they so treated? Midtown, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Statue of Liberty, Museums, Chinatown, Empire State Building, etc., the "points of interest". So, who goes to these places? Actually, mainly visitors. Probably 9 out of every 10 people in those areas are visitors themselves. The problem, then? Other visitors! Clearly, visitors are being treated badly by other visitors who trying to imitate their perception of a New Yorker.

No, we New Yorkers aren't the problem, but go ahead - we're tolerant.