Argue like You Want to Win

Arguing is a part of everyday life. We argue all the time whether we realize it or not. Believe me, I'm a serial arguer. We all want to win our arguments, too. That doesn't necessarily mean that you change the other person's mind, just that you have made your points clearer and more compellingly. The person who has more "facts" or "moral high-ground" isn't always the person who wins an argument, and often isn't. Sometimes it's best not to argue, and sometimes you will be swayed by another's argument. However, I'm writing this article from the point of view that you are always right and you always want to win. In that spirit, I usually use the following tactics.

Anticipate Your Opponent's Argument

Know your argument and know your opponent's. As an example, let's imagine an argument where I am trying to dissuade someone from stashing all of their money in their mattress and trying to convince them instead to put the money in a high-yield savings account. I can surmise that one of their arguments will be that having the money in the bed is safer than placing it in a bank.

Do Your Research

Although the person with the most "facts" doesn't always win the debate, effectively delivered facts are the easiest way to win. Since I know that the person's major concern is safety, I'd study up on the FDIC insurance for savings, bank failure rates, home robbery rates, etc... to make the case that having money in a savings account is as safe as having it in your mattress, plus you may be able to make 3% on it.

Speak with Passion and Confidence, but do not Become Emotional

It's easy to get riled up when you're in an argument, even if it's a frivolous issue. Be careful not to become emotional. You will tend to lose credibility if you become emotional in a negative way. Speaking with passion and confidence is necessary, but keep it under control. A logical argument delivered in an even and respectful manner is hard to beat.

Don't Talk Down to Your Opponent

While you should certainly challenge your opponent's views and facts, you should never talk down to him or her. We're generally involved in arguments with those close to us (family, friends, co-workers), so you don't want to make enemies. Be respectful and admit it if you're wrong. Don't just call your opponent an imbecile or an idiot.

Don't Get Caught in a Side Argument or a Losing Argument

Very often your opponent will switch the argument in a different direction. This may be done because they know they are losing, or they may do it unknowingly just because they are not a skilled debater. Whatever the reason, keep the argument on line. You have points to make, so stay on target and make them. Using the mattress example, I would be wary not to fall for my opponent telling me that the stock market averages an annual 10% return, so why not place the money in the market. The argument is savings account vs. mattress, so the stock market is irrelevant.

If you find yourself in a losing argument either bow out gracefully or move on to one of your stronger points. Again referencing the example above, let's consider that your opponent accurately points out that banks fail 10% of the time and you could lose all of your money (I know it's false, but bear with me). I would no longer argue that banks are just as safe as stashing your money in a mattress, but that the risk involved is worth it due to a higher return.

Summary

I hope this article helps you become a better and more confident arguer. You don't have to win every argument and you shouldn't argue just for the sake of it, but when you feel strongly about something, it's nice to know that you can deliver your opinion in a logical and effective manner.