Armchair Castaway's Survivor: China Review

Well fans, while my prediction that Zhan Hu would continue to struggle in Episode Two was correct, I have to admit I didn't expect them to end the losing streak so soon. I had fully anticipated a "Ulong - Palau" -type struggle to the end.

Grindgate, Anyone?
As we open the evening's events, Leslie confesses to us all that Jean-Robert, the professional poker player who thinks he can read anyone, is not as on top of his social game as he would like to believe. Snuggling up to every woman on the tribe in his alleged search for warmth, he's got the women of Fei Long running for the bamboo. Leslie says in confessional, "I don't think Jean-Robert gets the social game of Survivor. If we ever have to go to Tribal Council, at least we don't have to worry about who it'll be first because it'll be him."

Remember that prediction for later in the commentary here.

The Controversy of the Week
Courtney and Todd, while crouching very stealthily in the brush...I mean, collecting firewood, overhear a conversation between James and Jean-Robert. Jean-Robert, in a pretty chauvinistic and disgusting way, (are we surprised?), implies that James only wants to keep Courtney around because he's attracted to her. James laughs, but says she's been working hard at camp. Jean-Robert continues his implication, ending the conversation with a pretty rude, "The only thing better than a million dollars is a million dollars and some ass!"

Hmmm...me thinks I see what Leslie means by JR not getting the social game of Survivor. I'll extend that sentiment: I'm willing to BET he's not getting the social game of Real Life either.

The REAL Controversy of the Week: Dave
Oh, Dave. Dave. My Dave. The one I actually placed my bets on at the beginning of the season. I'm afraid I made a serious error in judgment. Maybe it's the beautiful blue eyes, or that crooked smirk, but I placed my trust in Dave. I hope he redeems himself; right now he's looking like Richard Hatch, Jr. (...and not just for taking his pants off during the Reward Challenge.)

Dave seems pretty misunderstood: I don't think he's as egotistical and overbearing as everyone seems to think. I think he's obsessive-compulsive. He reminds me of my mother; if there's work to be done he can't sit still or take a nap. While I admire the work ethic, no one likes a martyr. It's one thing to work hard, contribute to the welfare of the tribe, and make yourself so useful they don't want you to go home. It's another thing to nag so hard they'd rather have their Aunt Tillie with them out there than you. Dave is Zhan Hu's Martha Stewart Castaway.

But more important than being naked, being obsessive, or being annoying, when did Dave get demoted? He went from "Dave the Former Model" to "Dave the Bartender" on his job description. Poor Dave. Well, at least he'll have something to fall back on. I hope he's not as fastidious about making drinks.

The "Have You Ever WATCHED the Show?" Moment of the Week
Leslie has been applying for the show every season for the last five years. I assume, then, that she has watched. She has watched as tribes exchanged, kidnapped, and stole other members for a day or two. That being the case, why on EARTH would she (A.) ...tell Zhan Hu everything she could possibly think of about Fei Long and all its members; (B.)...happily skip back to her own camp and inform them she just opened up like a Playboy Bunny; and (C.) ...trust that somehow this would keep them from putting her on the chopping block at elimination time, ergo not using valuable pre-Tribal Council time to save her butt? I don't have any good answers for that, friends, but if you do, feel free to message me.

"What is Going On Here?" Moment of the Week
I realize that she sat out during the Reward Challenge, so they had to put her in somewhere. I realize that they probably made her first so they could make up the difference if they fell behind by using their stronger players after her to clean-up. But really, was there any place in that Immunity Challenge that Courtney would have been useful at all? The girl is under 100 pounds, I'm certain, and barely looked able to hold herself up before she went six days without much food. She could barely hold the machete, let alone cut through rope and wood to release the puzzle pieces. It was agonizing to watch.

And yet Fei Long STILL came close to winning that challenge! Zhan Hu better think long and hard about that.

Elimination Time
As I've said before, there are really three theories on eliminating castaways in the pre-merge councils: keep the strongest and get rid of the weak; get rid of the annoying; get rid of anyone that noticeably caused your team to lose a challenge. I add my fourth theory: trying to keep the mentally strong players for the puzzle challenges. Realistically, you only need one of the mental players. So, why did Leslie go home?

Fei Long says it's because she was too close to the Zhan Hu tribe. Fearing she would hop ship at merge, the Tribe banned together and let her go. Although I think their reasoning is legitimate, they're timing stinks. An already useless-in-challenges Courtney is now injured. The theory that because she's little she will spare them food leads to the misconception that she doesn't REQUIRE food and is probably used to not eating. Courtney is emaciated. If they think she's weak now, just wait. While I can respect the line of thinking that she is not going to be much of a challenge when the merge turns things into every-man-for-himself, it's never a good idea to make your tribe weak so that you have the advantage at the merge. Obviously they're going to need numbers at the merge, and if they continue to lose immunity because Courtney can't perform then they are going to go into the merge without the numbers. They should have kept Leslie's relationship with the group in mind for merge, but kept her for her strength.

Predictions
Well, my predictions following Episode Two were that the Zhan Hu tribe would be the new Palau: Ulong. I thought the challenge would bring another loss and another Tribal Council for Zhan Hu with Dave heading home.

I still predict in the coming week that Zhan Hu will lose Immunity and head for Tribal Council, with the annoying martyr, Dave, heading for Loser Lodge.

Sorry Dave.