"As You like It" (2007): When the Bard Bores

After a brief theatrical run overseas, As You Like It, Kenneth Branagh's latest William Shakespeare adaptation, has arrived on American shores as an HBO premiere. It's no secret that Branagh has much affection for the Bard, as this is his fifth filmed version of Shakespeare's works, including his legendary adaptation of Hamlet and the underrated Love's Labour's Lost, done in the style of a 1930s musical spectacular. But those new to the cinematic realm of Shakespeare may want to take a pass on As You Like It, a film which is as lush and beautiful to look at as its structure is puzzling and all over the map.

Branagh shifts the play's action from France to Japan, not long after the country has opened its doors to traders from the West, allowing businessmen to come in and build up their own little economic kingdoms. Duke Senior (Brian Blessed) and his family live in peace, until his younger brother Duke Frederick (also Blessed) bursts in one night, banishes his brother to the nearby forest of Arden, and sets about taking over his affairs. Frederick keeps his niece, Rosalind (Bryce Dallas Howard), around to be a companion to his own daughter, Celia (Romola Garai), but his disposition changes when the public starts to feel sorry for the poor girl in the place she's in. Before Frederick can take any action, Rosalind and Celia escape into the forest, where the former, having disguised herself as a man, finds herself in a tight situation when she encounters Orlando (David Oyelowo), himself on the run from a tyrannical relative, and, as per usual in stories like these, falls in love with him despite her masculine facade.

Though not as universally familiar as "Hamlet" or "Romeo & Juliet," "As You Like It" is still famous for being the play from which Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage..." monologue came from. But after seeing Branagh's handling of the Bard's material, one wonders if the play's relative obscurity is well-earned. This isn't to say that As You Like It is necessarily a bad movie but rather a puzzling one. The film looks so beautiful, the cast is sterling, and as writer and director, Branagh obviously knows what he's doing. Yet the movie turns out to be such a dreadful bore when all's said and done, I can only echo what Roger Ebert said about Death to Smoochy and remark that only a group of people as the bunch behind this movie could screw it up so majorly. The biggest problem involves the plot, or rather the script's inability to find one. What begins as a tale of family, double-crossings, and classier takes on other forms of soap opera fodder eventually starts flip-flopping back and forth, indecisive on whether it wants to be this type of story or a romance-tinged comedy of errors that doesn't make a lick of sense.

If I were to make a list of the top ten things I hate most in movies, inexplicable relationships would probably rank somewhere within the top five. I'm a passionate movie buff, but even I have a hard time believing some characters falling in love at the drop of a hat, especially in a situation like the one As You Like It presents, in which Rosalind and Orlando pull a "meet cute" and bat their eyes at one another before the former is bowled over by the latter's courage at a...sumo match? Even more bothersome is how their relationship is prolonged, as Rosalind, disguised as a boy (not even a convincing one, at that), starts playing around with Orlando and hiding her true identity for no fulfilling reason whatsoever (another element I'd slap on that top ten list I mentioned). The switch from drama to comedy and back again is a fluctuating transition that As You Like It doesn't handle smoothly (the Japanese influences are a simultaneously beautiful and unintentionally hilarious touch, as well). Nevertheless, the actors fare amazingly well; Howard makes for a playful Rosalind, Blessed is better as the noble Duke Senior than as the samurai armor-clad Frederick, and Alfred Molina is truly delightful as an entertainer who looks like a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Beakman. It's just a shame that a number of side actors, from Kevin Kline to Janet McTeer, are caught in the crossfire as the script keeps on firing more random supporting characters with paper-thin subplots than Gosford Park.

True, I'm not exactly Mr. Theatre, and the Mel Gibson version of Hamlet is the closest I've come to escaping the more recent, modernized takes on Shakespeare's material. It's also even said that Shakespeare himself wrote As You Like It as a trifle to please his fanbase. But as pretty as it can be, and as pristine as the cast looks, As You Like It wasn't quite to my liking at all.

MY RATING: ** (out of ****)