As My Mind Ponders

My mind ponders the thought, who am I.
When my thoughts tell me to complete work, which I have committed to in this world -
No matter the time of night or day because that is who I am; responsibility and commitment...

When my body responds with exhaustion, and the mind calls the body lazy and
Attempts to enforce that's who I am...
Or when the mind tells me I must do the work I am doing to demonstrate values, depth of
Character or a provider of income; because that is who I am; respectability,
Compassionate person and good moral fiber...

My heart, in that moment, when I can "do" no more, be nothing to another and care not
For what it is that I believe I should be doing -tells me;
I still am.
I am that which has experienced the mind in its defining and contemplation.
I am that which observes my body no longer able to comply with the minds demands.
I am that which notices I "still am" regardless if I do, I sit, I don't do, I stand...
I am, because I am, because... I am.

My mind ponders the thought, what am I.
When my thoughts tell me that if I do not do the acts that make another feel loved by me,
Then I will not experience love.
That is when my mind tells me that what I am,
Is not lovable and I am unkind.
When my body cries out in pain or recoils at a thought my mind embraces or imagines
That demonstrates an act or feeling not in agreement with my spirit...
That is when my mind tells me that what I am,
Is weakness, insecurity, incapable and all those words -we imagine.

My heart, in that moment, when the mind/body becomes paralyzed with the immobilizing
Words that make emotions sore with aches, pains, and hurts -tells me;
I still am.

I am the love that lies beneath the thoughts and in its stillness expresses freely.
I am the peace that lies beneath the body/mind and in its stillness reside unwavering.
I am that which observes the body and is in harmony with a greater Source, to
Stabilize its functions as it ever changes to continue housing me.
I am that which has experienced the mind in its defining and contemplation.
I am that which observes my body no longer able to comply with the minds demands.
I am that which notices that I "still am" regardless if I do, I sit, I don't do, I stand...
I am, because I am, because... I am.

My mind ponders the thought, why am I here.
When my mind tells me I am to work, to provide, to be righteous, to be useful and to be
something valued in this world, because that is why I'm here;
To be who the mind says I am -the one who works, the one who suffers, the one who is
The provider/giver/believer/achiever/worker, etc...
When my mind tells me I am here to have my minds desires met, to do something great, or be an
observed achiever of some thing, activity, accomplishment, etc,
Because that is why I'm here;
To be what the mind says defines me -the achiever, the activity I completed, the
accomplishment...
For only the mind to doubt, fear and become angry at every step, because each of
Those experiences is only a brief moment of satisfaction, leaving the mind to
Believe, then I must be something else...

My heart, in that moment, when the mind/body becomes paralyzed with the immobilizing
Words that make emotions sore with doubt, fear, confusion, anxiety, worry, etc...
Says yes, but look...
I still am.

I am the ever steady presence, that never changes and by that, I am strength, courage,
Wisdom and hope.
I am the awareness that notices, even when the event is over; when the goal has or has not been
achieved; when the body feels pain and when it doesn't;
When the mind judges and when it doesn't.

I am, presence... the space which these expressions and experiences take place.
I am the love that lies beneath the thoughts and in its stillness expresses freely.
I am the peace that lies beneath the body/mind and in its stillness reside unwavering.
I am that which observes the body and is in harmony with a greater Source, to
Stabilize its functions as it ever changes to continue housing me.
I am that which has experienced the mind in its defining and contemplation.
I am that which observes my body no longer able to comply with the minds demands.
I am that which notices that I "still am" regardless if I do, I sit, I don't do, I stand...
I am, because I am, because... I am.

As I am realizing who and what I am, I now know that I cannot
-not be "me."
As I am realizing who and what I am, I now know that my primary purpose is...
Just to be "me."
As I realize who and what I am, I now know that the reason I am here is to live
That purpose, "on purpose."
As I realize I am the purpose, I can easily except all of God's creation is his
Divine purpose...
And that includes,
you.