As Parents Our Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words

When I first became a parent it didn't take me long to realize what an awesome responsibility raising children was going to be. I always wanted to be the type of mom who my kids could come to, and we could talk about anything. I liked to talk with them, and explain things to them. Yes, I even have been known to break into the occasional 'mommy speech'.

If I told them not to do something, I wanted to explain to them the reason why, so they could understand. I didn't want to be the type of mom that just rambled off a list of 'do's and don't's' to them. I took great pride in the fact that I did talk to my children. It wasn't until I took a shopping trip with my four year old daughter one day that I realized how my words may not be enough to teach and guide my children.

We were at a store and I gave my daughter my usual 'entering the store speech'. The one about not touching anything. "We look with out eyes, not our hands...blah blah blah." Well, a few minutes into our shopping trip my daughter tugs on my coat and asks, "Mommy, I don't understand, why do you get to touch everything in the store?" You know, I never realized that I did touch items, even breakable ones when we were in the store. My first reaction was to explain to my little daughter that ,"Yes, Mommy does touch, but I also have money to pay for anything I should accidentally break." You know, the more I thought about it I realized that she was right. I didn't have any business touching the items either.

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks that day. What a confusing message I was sending to this child. Do as I say not as I do. I didn't realize that my actions were what she was really watching, not so much my words.

I felt silly, but I explained to my daughter that mommy wasn't perfect. I make mistakes too, and she was right I shouldn't be touching anything either. It was a powerful lesson that I learned that day. I need to keep my behavior in check. I'm leading by example as a parent.

It's not always easy to keep our behavior in check as parents. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not good at it all the time. I have had swear words come out of my mouth. I have told the occasional white lie, and I have even been rude to others on occasion. What is important though, is that if I want my children not to be doing these things, then I need to not be doing them either. We do need to talk to our children, and explain thing to them it's important, but it is our actions that speak loudest to them.