Asexuality: Redefining Sexual Orientation

If I took a random sample of people and asked them to discuss sexual orientation, most people would say there are three sexual orientations: heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals. What is little talked of when it comes to sexual orientation is asexuality. Asexuals are people who do not experience sexual attraction. This doesn't mean that they don't have a desire to form relationships. Just like the rest of us asexuals go on dates and have a desire to have a close emotional bond. They just have no interest in sex.

Unlike celibacy, asexuality is not a choice. Asexuals are people who have never had an interest in having sex, even if they experience sexual arousal. Many don't have an answer for why they don't enjoy sex-they just don't. Most asexuals see nothing wrong with the act of sex as long as they're not involved in it. For these reasons asexuality is getting attention for being more than just a lifestyle choice, and many are coming out of the closet after years of hiding to declare "I'm a-sexual and proud!"

David Jay, the founder of www.asexuality.org, is taking strides to raise asexuality awareness. He created AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) as a place where asexuals could come together to share their experiences with others who understand them. Founded in 2001, his website now boasts over 10,000 registered members from all regions of the world. This number is proof to many members of the asexual community that one day there will be total awareness and acceptance of this orientation.

"When a person can say 'No' to sex, without being second-guessed, ridiculed, pitied, or accused of lying and hiding their true orientation, THEN they have sexual freedom." posted one forum member.

Here lies the basis of the asexuality community to raise awareness. Asexuals believe that there needs to be more understanding of their orientation if they are ever going to live fulfilling lives without sex. For most, not having sex has not hindered their lives in any way. Their only concern is combating the disbelief of asexuality in the general population. According to most asexuals, the most common reaction they receive is "You'll grow out of it. You just haven't met the right person yet."

Asexuals are working hard to combat the lack of understanding that they have faced. They have had parades and have had a great deal media exposure in recent years, appearing on shows such as ABC Primetime and The Montel Williams Show. There are also an increasing number of individuals who are happy to come out and talk about "A-Pride" and being "A-Sexy." As the t-shirts sold on the AVEN website say: "Asexuality: it's not just for amoebas any more."