Asian Caucasian Relationships

The Caucasian male Asian female (CM/AF) couple is the most common and fastest growing interracial pairing in America. It's a subject that can still cause a good deal of controversy among the two groups involved. A person who finds him or herself the target of certain cross-cultural frustrations will be quick to deny that ethnic stereotypes have anything to do with their tastes. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences, it's no one's business but their own who they want to date. As true as this might be, people can and do draw their own conclusions about the matter. And whenever they do, there are stereotypes abound.

The people affected by the growing popularity of CM/AF couples fall into four groups: Caucasian males, Asian females, Caucasian females and Asian males.

Caucasian males who find Asian women attractive may resent terms like "yellow fever" or "China-chaser" that some people use to describe their preferences. But the fact remains that for a growing number of Caucasian men, Asian women make up the majority of their dating selections. What is the cause of this phenomenon? One popular theory is that these men are striking back at modern feminism. Some men believe that feminism has gone beyond its initial agenda of equal rights for women and now exists for the sole purpose of discrediting the male human species. They believe that this attitude is reflected in the way American women behave in relationships. Some say that American women are struggling with gender role identity, that feminism makes them unsure of how to be women. A simple solution for American males who do not want to fight to keep the masculine role in a relationship is to turn to women from different cultural backgrounds. Asian women have a stereotypically submissive image. Asian cultures in general place more dominance on the male. Such cultures are considered socially backward by American standards.

Despite that, there is still a large number of American males who prefer the dominant role in their relationships. Although many of the Asian women they date are second-generation (or more) and are for the most part Americanized, it can still be successfully argued that the influence of Asian culture pervades despite exposure to American society. People may accuse Caucasian men of taking advantage of Asian women who don't know to expect any better. Some white men are consciously guilty of this. Most, however, will deny that there are any ill intentions governing their preference for Asian women. Many will tell you that they simply want a woman who will give them the respect they deserve. They do not believe that Asian women are submissive, simply more ladylike. They feel that Asian women know how to be successful academically and professionally without taking over the masculine role. Other men will also express an attraction to Asian women's looks, which are in their opinion more exotic. They argue that an affinity for women black hair, golden skin and almond-shaped eyes is no different from having a preference for women with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Asian women are often criticized by people of their own ethnicity for dating Caucasian men. Sometimes it is a matter of nationality; certain cultures disapprove of its members dating people who do not come from their own country. But this isn't always the case. I know from personal experience that a lot of it is just outright racism. For example, a Filipino woman who decides to date a Chinese man will not get much censure from other Filipinos about her decision. But if the same woman decides to date a Caucasian man, she will likely be accused of selling out or trying to climb the American social ladder. So why do Asian women continue date Caucasian men? A lot of them give a reason that is related what I'd discussed before. Many Asian-American women find traditional Asian culture to be stifling. A lot of them feel that Asian men will not give them the freedom that they need.

Caucasian men, on the other hand, are more likely to be lenient and appreciative, or so Asian women tend to believe. Also, it must be considered that the American standard of male beauty does not reflect favorably towards Asian men. It is difficult not to be attracted to media images of male icons, a large majority of whom are white. Caucasian men have a tendency to be more confident than Asian men because of this. They are comfortable in their position, which naturally makes them a more attractive choice. Also consider that Caucasian men still make up the majority of the male population, and for Asian women to avoid dating them would mean cutting off a considerable portion of their dating pool. They are, however, somewhat wary of white men who date Asian women for the wrong reasons. There is always the question of whether a white man would respect or value an Asian woman as much as he would a white woman. Is he actually trying to fulfill some Asian fetish fantasy? The question has a tendency to linger, which makes it understandable why some Asian women refuse to date Caucasian men.

Talking generally, there is still a majority of Asian women who date only Asian men, but the rate of Asian women dating Caucasian men is growing. The rate of Caucasian women dating Asian men, on the other hand, is not. There is an imbalance there that can make the CM/AF phenomenon frustrating for Asian men. There is a common feeling among Asian men that "their" women are being taken from them. Many women find this attitude offensive, considering how they certainly did not belong to those men in the first place. But looking at the situation objectively, most people do have more familiarity with people of their own race. In a cultural sense, people of the same heritage are connected. It is difficult for Asian men not to be feel betrayed when cultural bonds are discarded in favor of the majority race. It does not help that the same media images that glorify male Caucasian beauty also have a tendency to represent Asian males in an unattractive light. If they're not nerds, then they're karate-chop action heroes. Perhaps it is none of Asian men's business whom Asian women decide to date. But at the same time, they can hardly be blamed for being frustrated.

Caucasian women have noticed the CM/AF trend, as well. The ones who care about it either way seem to have some common preconceptions among them. One is the opinion that some Caucasian males are attracted to "submissive" Asian women because they can't deal with an independent American woman. They feel disappointment for those men and pity for the Asian women they date. Another is a certain sour-grapes reaction, wherein the Caucasian women claim that the only white men Asian women ever get to date are the undesirable ones. The media focus on Caucasians affects not only the men in the group, but the women also. Caucasian women are used to the American standard of beauty reflecting their own collective appearance. But in recent years, the trend has allowed for more women of color and ambiguous heritage to take the spotlight as objects of desire. There are many more female celebrities of non-European ancestry than there are males. An ethnic group that is currently rising fast in popularity is that of Asian women. It seems to be a matter of competition. American Caucasian women have never really dealt with it before. But seeing how Asian women are statistically the leading choice for Caucasian men who have chosen to date interracially, some white women may Asian women see a threat. Or they may have the sense not to worry about it.

CM/AF couples are a common sight these days, and the growing number of resulting American Eurasians (people of mixed European/Asian heritage) are like a race unto themselves. It isn't a trend that shows any signs of slowing, and yet... the stereotypes survive. This is a snapshot of social dynamics in aspect.