Asparagus Can Be an Adventure

Why should you eat asparagus? There are many reasons. First of all, it won't give you a green tinge if you eat too much. Martians won't be able to identify you. It won't make you fat nor bloated unless you eat tractor trailers full of the stuff. It isn't some new or questionable vegetable. You're not apt to worry that it might be contaminated if it was in a served in a fast food place (because this is highly improbable). And unlike the tomato (which took a very long time to popularize itself), asparagus has been around and consumed for many centuries.

These delicious green stalks were mentioned in Apicius, third century AD De re coquinara Book 111. This is one of the oldest cookbooks known to man. The stalks lost popularity during the Middle Ages but returned to our good graces during the 17th century. Asparagus as we know it today clearly has established itself to stay in our diets.

It is a versatile vegetable and even the Green Giant likes it. He does not, however, carry it around to use as spear, apparently he just likes to nibble on it from time to time ("HO-HO-HO Green Giant"...). You can eat it raw, boiled, baked in a foil packet, steamed as a side for just about any entrée. You can even incorporate into the actual entrée. One delicious example would be steak oscar. You can eat it in a roll up, soup and salad. You can parboil it for one to two minutes and freeze it for up to eight months if you have an abundance of this crop.

It is, without question, good for you too. It is a great source of potassium, fiber and rutin (I am not entirely sure what rutin is but all sources point to it not being poisonous). It is low in calories as long as you don't heap hollandaise sauce or gobs of butter on top of it (which is quite tasty but a definite no no if you are dieting).

Asparagus is easy to prepare, none of that tedious boring peeling business. Simply trim off the bottom ends, rinse and cook. It is eye candy for a plate when cooked and presented. Diners will gasp in delight and clutch their hands to their chests upon gazing at it (probably not but it will earn you points).

Asparagus also comes in lovely colors. It can magically appear in green, white and even purple. Imagine the color palate you can match it too with other foods, the possibilities are almost endless! If you are serving guests and run out of polite conversation you can romantize the exquisite and charming tender shoots. You can tell them of the worldliness of the origin of your asparagus. The top exporters are Peru, Mexico and China. You could make asparagus sound exotic, comparable to some hard to come by foods presented on the food channel.

If you so desire, you may even put on airs regarding the serving of asparagus. Make sure your guests know that it was expensive and cost considerably more than the lowly canned corn you wouldn't dream of adorning your table. It can be as much as four dollars a pound after all. You can be tactful yet snobby and somehow make your guests feel particularly special because you decided to serve asparagus. The pretentious air of the asparagus could potentially come in handy, depending on the situation and your own depth of phoniness.

You can eat asparagus in gowns or graze them while standing in front of the open door of the fridge in sweats. Don't think of asparagus as a humble (and certainly not common) noun, think of it as a verb! Think of it as an experience.