Asperger's Syndrome: How to Prevent a Meltdown

When you have a child with Asperger's Syndrome, one of the first things you'll need to know is how to prevent or diffuse a meltdown. Meltdowns are common occurrences with Aspie children, but you can learn to recognize the triggers and the physical cues to an impending tantrum and nip them in the bud.

Recognizing Triggers

First step in preventing a meltdown is to find out what will trigger them. Most Aspie meltdowns occur from environmental factors, control issues, and a self-centered view of justice. When your Aspie has a meltdown, look at the whole picture. Is he frustrated or tired? Is there something going on that he can't control?

With Sam, my eight-year-old Aspie son, his three main triggers are his possessions, his sense of equality, and sensory issues.

If he feels his possessions have been tampered with, he will become very angry. "Tampering" can range from a parent moving his things to a sibling touching his things to the puppy chewing on his things.

If he feels things aren't fair, it will trigger a meltdown as well. This could be regarding any aspect of his life - chores, privileges, snacks, toys, bedtimes, etc.

Sensory issues play a large part in whether Sam is going to have a meltdown as well. If he will get messy, have to touch something he doesn't want to touch, or have to eat something with a different texture than he's used to, he will have a meltdown.

Recognizing the Physical Cues

There are always physical cues your Aspie will have to warn you of an impending meltdown.

Is he tense and holding his pencil too tightly? Is he making more noise than usual - such as whining, grunting, humming, or making mouth noises? Is he withdrawn when he's usually talkative? Is he rocking or otherwise fidgeting? All these are pretty obvious physical cues to an Asperger's meltdown.

Tips to Prevent or Diffuse a Meltdown

Once you know the triggers and can see the physical cues, it's time to step in and help your child calm himself down.

Sometimes, all an Asperger's child needs is a change of environment. Take him out of the room or away from the person or thing that's aggravating him.

Speak to your Aspie in a calm, soothing voice. Yelling or even talking loudly will overload his already-overstimulated senses and bring on a meltdown much more quickly.

Soothing gestures help if your Aspie is okay with being touched. When Sam is heading toward a meltdown, if I bring him into another room, speak softly to him as I hug him and rub his back, I can usually prevent a meltdown from happening.

After the Meltdown

Once a meltdown has been prevented or diffused, it's important to talk about it with your Aspie. This needs to be a positive learning experience for your child. Flesh out the root of the problem. Help him find solutions that don't include having a meltdown.

There needs to be consequences for your child's actions, otherwise he'll use the threat of a meltdown as a way to manipulate. However, the consequences should be reasonable and designed to teach the child, not to punish him.

If Sam were to start to have a meltdown over having to do dishes, once he was calm again, his consequence would be that he had to finish his dishes. It doesn't seem like much of a consequence, but we parents have a tendency to take over to try to make things easier for our Aspies. It's important that he realizes that he still needs to be responsible. He is perfectly capable of doing his dishes, and he needs that reinforcement that he can do it.

Social stories are a great resource for children with Asperger's Syndrome to learn how to cope with a given situation next time it occurs. Sam once had a social story about how a ninja behaved in the lunch line. He was quiet, kept his hands to himself, didn't push anyone, and moved forward quietly. Ninjas are calm, cool and collected - which is how he needed to behave in the lunch line.

The most important thing is to remember that just because your Aspie almost had or did have a meltdown, he's not doing it to be naughty. He's not a bad child. Meltdowns are a way for children with Asperger's Syndrome to cope with something that overwhelms, confuses, or frustrates them.